1832.J Affairs in General 221 



Caesars and whiskered Alexanders best know what is the most valuable 

 article about their heads, and have a right to take care of it. At all 

 events the regulation and its results are not confined to England ; in 

 the chamber at Cassel, we are informed, " a deputy denounced as un- 

 constitutional, an order issued by the regent, forbidding the civil officers 

 to wear mustachios. He said, the sultan himself had no right to touch 

 the beards of his subjects ; and that if to-day mustachios were disposed 

 of, to-morrow every Hessian may be ordered to have his head shaved." 

 Now this looks sadly like a piece of satire upon the parliamentary pro- 

 testations and prophecies of our anti-reformers at home. They have said 

 the same thing over and over again : " the king himself," say they, 

 ' ' has no right to touch the boroughs of his subjects ; and if to-day Old 

 Sarum is disposed of, to-morrow every anti-reformer may be ordered to 

 have his head shaved." Nothing can be more likely. We admit the con- 

 clusiveness of the reasoning, and are happy to think that the poor cutlers 

 of Birmingham are likely to be so extensively employed ; though, to be 

 sure, the number of the foolish daily grows fewer, and the demand for 

 razors and strait- waistcoats may not after all be very excessive. At Cas- 

 sel, the chamber passed after a short discussion to the order of the day ; 

 ours is still likely to be a long discussion, and " order " will not come 

 till it is over. 



FIRE-PROOF DRESSES. Among the many, or rather the innumerable 

 triumphs of science that happen hourly, may be mentioned the invention 

 of a new and very satisfactory fire-proof great coat, or other outward 

 garment, formed of course of some exceedingly incombustible materials, 

 and capable of being shifted with surprising convenience. We imagine 

 it to be a sort of cloak or mantle, made of real Thames water but at all 

 events it is something quite as effective in shutting out the effects of fire, 

 as the dress of Chabert himself. By the way, as the fire-king was said 

 to have died lately, it is possible that his wardrobe fell into the hand of 

 somebody who intends to assume to himself the merit of the invention. 

 No matter ; the dress is proposed for general adoption in all cases of 

 fire, and tailors, duly instructed, are already at work in various direc- 

 tions. Now we must admit that this invention or discovery, in an 

 age of incendiarism like this, is peculiarly well-timed ; but we must also 

 acknowledge that it is calculated to give some colour to the rumour cir- 

 culated in anti-reform circles, that, as soon as the lords shall have thrown 

 out the bill a second time, it is the intention of the reformers to burn 

 London a la Bristol, cutting off the communication between Surrey and 

 Middlesex by setting fire to the bridges. It was their intention at first 

 to apply their torches to the Thames itself, but this they are determined 

 to leave for the anti-reformers to do. Sir Charles Wetherell, who is 

 known to be very particular about his costume, and also very tenacious 

 of burning his fingers, has already given orders to Stultz for one of the 

 new dresses observing facetiously, that if it could be made smoke-proof, 

 he should prefer it. 



JACK MITFORD. We have had the loves of the flowers, we shall 

 shortly be edified by the (f lives of the caterpillars ;" for the newspapers 

 of the past month, have, with scarcely an exception, treated the world 

 with a biography of the worthy whose name commences this paragraph. 

 Jack Mitford was the prime manufacturer of sixpenny infamy, in the 



