1832-] A History of the n Humbug" Family. 333 



. With the introduction of Christianity our name fell into some disre- 

 pute, but it soon afterwards acquired favour again. The fathers of the 

 church have mentioned some of our race -with great respect, indeed they 

 have always been eminent for their piety. An immortal inhabitant of 

 the Thebaid, whose name unfortunately has escaped me, acquired fame 

 in this world, and beatitude in the next, by living all his life upon the 

 perpendicular standing upright upon a column ; and another sainted 

 individual walked, after decapitation, with his head under his arm. 



In all religions the name of my family has been conspicuous ; 

 whether of Juggernaut or of Woden, of Vishnu or of Belus, or of either 

 of the thousand and one different forms of worship which are, or have 

 been in practice; Druids, Brahmins, Dervishes, Popes, and the rest. 

 Those who were most honoured for their voluntary sufferings, whether 

 the devotee, who measured with the length of his body the way to his 

 idol ; or the worshipper of the Koran, who walked barefooted to the 

 sacred minarets of Mecca ; or the Catholic monk, who disciplines him- 

 self with a rope's end, have ever been my nearest and dearest rela- 

 tives. 



I claim the highest alliances. Almost every king, from Nebuchad- 

 nezzar, who was the first royal botanist that found out the qualities of 

 grass, to Louis Philippe, who has been equally successful in discovering 

 the properties of birch ; but the French throne has been the most con- 

 stantly honoured by my kinsmen. The whole race of Bourbons are my 

 cousins, consequently our beloved Ferdinand of Spain is especially dear 

 to us. Miguel of Portugal, the Autocrat of all the Russias, the King 

 of Holland, and the Pope of Rome, have frequently acknowledged the 

 relationship. But the most celebrated of the name remains unmen- 

 tioned. Napoleon was the greatest " Humbug " that ever existed. 

 Instance his projected invasion of England, his attempt to destroy our 

 commerce, his bulletins ; the glorious emanations of his extraordinary 

 genius. lam justly proud of my connection by blood with so distin- 

 guished an individual. 



Although, in empires and in kingdoms, my family has obtained the 

 greatest honour and reputation, in free states it has been frequently in 

 as high estimation. Those great men who governed the free cities of 

 Italy during the middle ages, by their mild paternal sway, and the 

 gentle spirit of their government, made the citizens boast of their free- 

 dom. It is impossible to give the names of all that great family who 

 existed in those times of liberty and equality ; we will only mention the 

 Doges of Venice and the Popes of Rome. The Venetian government 

 inculcated that spirit of patriotism for which the members of my family 

 have always been distinguished. The public operations of the Council 

 of Three ; the liberality of opinion allowed by the officers of St. Mark ; 

 the political importance possessed by the people, even by the poorest 

 fisherman of the Lagunes ; and the uncontrolled authority of the chief 

 of the state, even in his marriage with the Adriatic, prove incontestably 

 the power which my relations had in the government. The sway of the 

 Roman pontiffs was at one time more partaking of the nature of the 

 family name, than it does at present. It was they who instituted the 

 Crusades, the most important warfare that was ever undertaken, and 

 attended, of course, with all the beneficial results that were expected. 

 It was they who found out the value of relics the true cross has 

 through them been miraculously divided into as many chips as would 



