412 Dreary toil and his Friends. x Q APRIL, 



smoothly rolled out as the pleasant promenade on which he had hitherto 

 delighted to parade. For instance, by a strenuous exertion of interest, 

 a sinecure might have offered its stool and salary for his reception ; or, 

 he might have let himself out as shadow to a young fellow of fortune, 

 or compendious abstract of witticism and repartee, or convenient echo 

 of horse-laughs and puppyisms, whereto, " profits might accrue/' Or, 

 if he really possessed any talent, he might have scribbled a fashionable 

 novel ; or, if he were entirely destitute of brains, he might have done 

 the same thing w r ith as much advantage to himself. Against all which 

 projects he decidedly set his face. Well, then ; there was the establish- 

 ment of a republic in South America, a blessed chance of distinguishing 

 himself, with magnificent remuneration " in fuluro ;" or there was the 

 independence of Greece, and the rapture of enthusiastic and never- 

 ending reference to Marathon and ThermopylEe, with a special recom- 

 mendation to Capo d'Istrias. No, it would not do. Further, there 

 were matrimonial chances, connubial bliss, domestic peace, rich heiress, 

 complying widow, or expectant spinster of the last century. This was 

 by no means palatable. He said, one might as reasonably fall into a 

 well and expect to find Truth there, as fall in love arid hope to meet with 

 her in a woman ; and he cited instances in which certain friends of his 

 had met with ruinous reverses, nay, with untimely deaths, in conse- 

 quence of such witless extravagance of sentiment. 



Finding my endeavours likely to produce no fruit worth the gather- 

 mg, I left the foolish and wrong-headed wretch to his own obstinate 

 devices and determinations ; and I shortly afterwards heard of his de- 

 parture, with the wrecks of his property, for New South Wales, where 

 he fully expects to realize a very large fortune in a very little period ; 

 and, for my part, I sincerely wish that he may get it. 



And thus abruptly terminated the hopes and flattering expectations 

 which we had been too prone to entertain of this young gentleman ; 

 and, perhaps, the recital may not be without its advantage if it operate 

 as a warning against the folly and extravagance of youth. And if the 

 reader should, after all, be unconscious of the moral intended herein, 

 why, I must even dismiss him in the chin-clad dervise style of the 

 eighteenth century " Go, my son, be virtuous and be happy." 



As for Harebrain, I had occasion to see him a short time ago. It 

 appears, he is about to square the circle and discover the longitude ; 

 and he has, he avers, succeeded in creating a perpetual motion. And 

 he maintains, that his mansion at Battersea is the very Temple of 

 Reason, and his strait waistcoat the academic robe of a Stoic Philo- 

 sopher. 





