480 The Drama. L 



to say, that it triumphs over all pieces that have hitherto lent their weight to 

 crush the stage ! Indeed, we were rather surprised that, even amongst the 

 many bold adventurers, there could be found a man sufficiently lost to all sense 

 of the moral obligations owing to society, as to be capable of perpetrating so 

 glaring, so monstrous a dramatic offence ; but, on inquiry, we are happy to 

 state that the whole weight of the trangression does not, fortunately, fall on 

 one. The responsibility and the consequences must be divided among several 

 offenders. 1st. There is one Henry Bishop, a great criminal one, indeed, who 

 has already to answer for other mortal sins at the bar of the drama ; among 

 which, for that called " The Daemon," he can hardly ever, even by the most 

 sincere contrition, expect a pardon. 2d. There is Haynes Bayly, another con- 

 siderable delinquent, and the fate of whose " Decorum" last season, one would 

 suppose, might have taught him more this. 3d. Henry Morton, reader to Drury- 

 Lane, stands accused of the almost incredible crime of having contributed that 

 portion of the opera, facetiously enough termed humorous but calling it so, is 

 the most humorous part of it. 4th. Though last, not least, Mr. Fitz-Ball 

 claims a very considerable share of popular indignation. From the opaque 

 and incomprehensible nature of the plot, we can readily imagine it to be this 

 gentleman's portion of the work ; it must have cost him as much difficulty in 

 writing, as us in understanding it. By a process extremely easy, we can 

 now fancy ourselves on the judgment-seat at the Old Bailey, with these hard- 

 ened criminals at the bar for judgment. This probably would be about the 

 extent of our severity. You, Henry Bishop, are an old offender, and must 

 banish every hope of mercy from your mind. We hoped that the fate of your 

 namesake last session would have been a warning to you ; but you persevere 

 in the same dreadful courses with no remorse. You are incorrigible. Your 

 namesake suffered, as you well know, for the very crime of which you are 

 guilty ; and are you to escape ? The name of the unhappy Sphor stands in 

 dreadful evidence against you. You murdered him under circumstances of 

 unexampled atrocity ; it appears that you have, without compunction, mangled 

 and torn him limb from limb, until the air has been filled with untuneful howl- 

 ings ! The names of other sufferers likewise cry aloud for vengeance ; miser- 

 able, prepare to meet your fate, and make use of your remaining time in con- 

 ciliating the ghosts of your victims. Approach, Mr. Haynes Bayly ; and 

 promise never more to write for the stage ; confine your efforts to the amuse- 

 ment of the drawing-room and the boudoir; attempt not to court the good 

 graces of Melpomene or Thalia. To woo these damsels your Pegasus must fly 

 with other wings than those of Butterflies ! And now go away in peace. Mor- 

 ton ! et tu, Brute ! must we believe the charge preferred against you ! Are 

 you really guilty of so grievous an offence ! You get three hundred pounds 

 a-year for reading plays in the name of wonder, how much do you get for 

 writing such parts as that played by Harley in " The Alchymist ? Is it pos- 

 sible that, among the 4,500 dramatic pieces which you have read, you can find 

 no conceit amongst them more witty than Harley fancying himself a tea-pot ? 

 Why couple up with your unhappy witticisms, so inspiring an appendage to do- 

 mesticity? Why this unmanly yes, Morton, we repeat it unmanly enmity 

 against a vessel, than which, in all our domestic inventions, we find not one 

 so cheerful not one that so realizes the ideas of social enjoyment ? You, 

 Morton, are a domestic man yourself, blessed with an amiable wife and family ; 

 why, again we ask you, why hurl such bitter vengeance against that emblem 

 of home-comfort a tea-pot ? Could you find no fitter object for the exercise 

 of your comicality ? We sentence you to be limited to the quantity of seven 

 cups to your afternoon repast for the space of one calendar month. 



" Like Justice Park, we cannot but weep over the apparent cruelty of our 

 awards ; but there is one more culprit. He strives to conceal himself. Fitz- 

 Ball ! The Fitz-Balls must be added to the list of the Fitz's ; though it has been 

 whispered that this Fitz-Ball was once upon a time simple Ball, and that he only 

 condescended thus to place the baton of heraldry across his shield within these 

 last few years, to keep the Fitzgeralds, Fitzherberts, and others, in counte- 



