664 Pyrology. [JuNE, 



ing the new wonder. They might just as well endeavour to discern those 

 celestial phenomena, which, on the authority of the almanacks, are visible 

 only to the antipodes. Surely there is a fatality attending the affairs of 

 men, else, how happens it that a person of a speculative turn of mind, 

 possessing considerable apparent opportunities, and taking all proper pre- 

 cautions, shall never set his eyes upon any thing which he would not be 

 ashamed, even in a letter to his country friends, to designate as a sight? 

 Such a one may probably in the course of his career witness a fired 

 chimney, one of those ambiguous cases in which a magistrate has to 

 decide whether water was legitimately introduced at all, and the firemen 

 are entitled to the parliamentary reward but it is very certain that he 

 will never, on this side of the grave, behold a flame which might not be 



readily extinguished by as much water as Dr. would not weaken a 



pint of brandy with. It is in vain that he struggles with his destiny, 

 wandering in the streets at unseasonable hours, and in the dead of the 

 night starting ever and anon from his repose, under the impression that 

 something must be burning somewhere. His hopes are occasionally raised 

 by a chance encounter with a fire engine as it thunders along, tearing up 

 the pavement, shattering the windows, and killing the nervous in its 

 progress ; but he pants and toils after it in vain, generally running off in 

 the wrong direction as soon as the object of his pursuit is out of sight; or 

 if he at length succeeds in marking it down, arriving barely in time to see 

 the newly invented, patent, powerful, steam fire-extinguisher commence 

 its operations, which is always five minutes after there has ceased to be 

 any thing to extinguish. Then are heard amongst the delighted multitude 

 assembled on the spot, hypocritical expressions of condolence and horror, 

 sufficient to make those who were too late to be spectators of the awful 

 scene die of envy; but nothing igneous is visible, save only a contemptible 

 shower of sparks, such as would disgrace the dying moments of a Vauxhall 

 rocket. 



To enjoy many opportunities of seeing great fires, there are three 

 things essential ; good luck, argus eyes, and an insinuating address. 

 There is no need of many arguments to demonstrate that the first of these 

 is the greatest and most important. It is also manifest, that, however 

 propitiously inclined fortune may be, any one who could avail himself of 

 her bounties to the utmost extent, should not receive her overtures with 

 looks rivetted to the ground, like the shade of Dido listening to ^Eneas 

 in the infernal regions. The blind goddess would in vain mark as her 

 favourites those who are labouring under her own infirmity of vision. To 

 what purpose is a fine exhibition thrown in the way of one who has no 

 speculation in his eyes ? To what purpose is it that the horizon shall be 

 suddenly and vividly illuminated, as a sign that a conflagration is raging 

 beneath, and as a beacon to direct the footsteps of wandering mortals to 

 the spot, if wandering mortals will not use ordinary circumspection ? The 

 third and last of the qualifications above enumerated is useful in securing 

 a good situation in a crowd. It is exceedingly well known to all those 

 who are partial to exhibitions in the open air, that the most convenient 

 spot for seeing is invariably occupied by a strong and numerous array of 

 the police. Now it is not to be expected that by the mere receipt of one 

 pound a week out of the parish rates, a man shall be divested of that 

 natural feeling of curiosity which is common to all ; and policemen have 

 as good a right to see as other people ; but it is submitted that the mem- 



