1832.] Pyroloyy. (56-0 



bers of the respectable body alluded to do, in this particular, take an 

 unfair advantage of their station and authority. Suppose a foreigner, 

 newly arrived in London for the purpose of lionising ; suppose him to 

 sally forth, on a day appointed for the prorogation of parliament by the 

 king in person, to Palace Yard, in the vain expectation of having his eyes 

 blessed with a glimpse of majesty; and lastly, suppose him, upon en- 

 quiring concerning certain individuals in blue coats and white buttons who 

 interposed themselves between the spectators and the royal cortege, and 

 engrossed the whole of the spectacle to themselves, to be informed that 

 they were the " civil " power of this enlightened country ; what notion 

 would that foreigner entertain of English civility? The most effectual 

 remedy at present for this public grievance is a benign and affable ex- 

 pression of countenance united with some powers of palaver. Therefore 

 the lion (the term is used here in its active and not in its passive significa- 

 tion) should study all the writers on the graces from Chesterfield down- 

 wards, in order to acquire those arts by which the affections of all classes 

 of people are conciliated. These accomplishments, if duly applied, on 

 the proper occasions, more especially in the case of a fire, will not fail to 

 secure for their fortunate possessor a place in the inner or dress circle, as 

 it may be styled, of spectators. A single wink of the eye (from an Irish- 

 man) has been known to effect wonders in the case of a policeman under 

 the rank of inspector. 



To admirers of the devouring elements, various expedients might 

 be suggested for insuring early intelligence of all its proceedings. Amongst 

 others the opportunity of securing a sleeping apartment in the house of 

 the person to whose custody the key of the parish engine is confided, will 

 of course be seized with alacrity. In seeking, however, to avail himself 

 of all legitimate opportunities of gratifying a propensity which is only 

 innocent so long as it is not carried to excess, the amateur should proceed 

 discreetly and cautiously, since a passion for fires, if immediately indulged, 

 may possibly seduce a person of ardent temperament into the commission 

 of arson. 



The principal towns of the British empire, phlogistically considered, are 

 not by any means to be commended. The " wooden walls of Old 

 England," it is well known, is a mere metaphorical expression : the walls 

 of England are not wooden, but chiefly composed of fire-bricks, or some 

 other such non-combustible material. Moreover, no sooner does a police- 

 man on duty discover a stray spark issuing forth from a solitary chimney, 

 than the whole metropolis, with its hundred insurance offices, and its 

 thousand engines, is in motion, and the suspected spot is forthwith 

 deluged with the contents of pumps, canals, rivers, and reservoirs. Under 

 these circumstances, looking at an affair of the kind merely as a wrestling 

 match or a set-to between the two elements of fire and water, it is quite 

 evident that the former has not fair play in the struggle. In Constanti- 

 nople, whenever a conflagration takes place, at least the entire quarter of 

 the British, or some other residents, is razed to the ground : but in old 

 England the day is confessedly gone by for a fire, which shall commence 

 in a Pudding Lane and end in a Pie Corner. This is not said in a spirit of 

 repining or discontent, but is merely stated as a fact. The narrow crowded 

 streets and wooden architecture of the Elizabethan age, find but a sorry sub- 

 stitute in the scattered theatres, warehouses, and spirit vaults of the present 

 day. It was once imagined that the duty on tallow and sea borne coals was 



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