586 NOTES OF THE MONTH. 



O'Trigger, in the Rivals, that gentlemen should stand fair to the front, in 

 duelling, and be shot clean through one side of the body, instead of making as 

 small as possible an edge, by standing sideways, and running the risk of 

 being certainly killed by the ball penetrating both sides ; but this I do know, 

 that there is neither charity nor humanity in the manner of choosing the pis- 

 tols at present adopted. The balls are so small, that the hole they make is 

 always a source of inconvenience in the cure: and the quantity of powder is 

 also so small, that it will not send the ball clean through a moderately thick 

 gentleman; it therefore sticks in some place where it should not, to the ex- 

 treme disadvantage of the patient, and the great annoyance of the surgeon. 

 These things really should be altered, with the present diffusion of know- 

 ledge." 



This is really very kind in Mr. Guthrie. While other gentlemen 

 are devoting their time and abilities in the furtherance of science in 

 its various modifications, he is determined not to be in the rear in the 

 great march of improvement ; and has therefore brought the whole force 

 of his immense intellect to bear upon the most scientific and approved 

 fashion of shooting a moderately thick gentleman clean through the body! 

 Here we have an example worthy of all admiration a surgeon an 

 army surgeon too one who has been accustomed so long to the 

 carving of bodies, that he could be hardly supposed to possess as 

 much heart as a resurrection-man yet here we find him enlisted in 

 the great cause of humanity. With his prejudices as a soldier and a 

 gentleman, he cannot advise the abolition of duelling ; (for what is a 

 soldier without his duels ? The vulgar must be kept in awe ;) but 

 we find our philanthropist ready to abolish all the horrors of this bar- 

 barous pastime, and to render it a really genteel amusement. By 

 following Mr. Guthrie's ingenious instructions, you shall send your 

 ball clean through the body of your friend, provided, of course, that 

 he be only moderately thick : if he be extra thick, we would recom- 

 mend the artist immediately to repair to Westminster Hospital for 

 further directions. But alas! amidst all this blaze of apparently 

 genuine feeling, we fancy we can detect a spice of the selfishness of 

 human nature. The philanthropist recommends the tyro to stand in 

 a particular position, as it reduces the chances of his being shot dead, 

 from 10 to 1 to 9 1 to 1 a very important gain. He then inveighs 

 against the small size of the ball, and the diminutive charge of 

 powder, as productive of great inconvenience in the cure ! There is 

 neither charity nor humanity, observes the amiable anatomist, in using 

 small balls ; because the small holes they make cause great annoyance 

 to the surgeon ! Here, then, the truth appears : for know, gentle 

 reader, that the triumph of a surgeon is not so much to save the life 

 of a patient, as to extract the ball. 



We would recommend that the members of the United Service 

 Club should present this humane friend with a pair of bell-mouthed 

 blunderbusses, so that in case he should turn out with a friend, he 

 may in the most humane manner blow his head off, and save the sur- 

 geon any annoyance whatever. 



IMPUDENCE PERSONIFIED. We find the following advertisement 

 in the < { Times" of the 24th of last month ; 



