24 COMMON INCIDENTS. 



lively at my arguments; it was all the same, I succeeded. The Gene- 

 ral's prosing fit grew calm, it cooled, it settled, it froze ; he fell asleep ! 

 Thank heaven this will do, thought I, as far as the next relay of 

 horses ; after which I will endeavour to fall asleep myself. 



This resolution of mine may appear the effect of an unsociable tem- 

 per ; very far from it, it was an act of moral necessity. 



I had, long ago, heard all that this Indian could say upon almost 

 every topic, during a five months' voyage, at the cuddy table, where 

 he was always felt, though not voted, an essential bore. I did not 

 like him : I could not esteem him. Similar to many very ignorant 

 men, he was malicious, revengeful, and always unforgiving of offence 

 to those who had the least claim to classical acquirements. He now 

 and 'then, from pure indolence, would dip into a scientific tract, which, 

 if he happened to absorb part of the contents, was sure to intoxicate 

 him, as the brandy bottle does the savage, exposing him, when striving 

 at practical action under the stimulus, to derision and contempt. He 

 was stately, severe, and morose on the voyage ; few on board were 

 his equals,, in rank or riches ; with these alone he deigned to associate. 

 A Lieutenant returning home on furlough, a Captain, even of the 

 same army, were not to be familiarly greeted. 



The very Captain of the ship was oply tolerated as a companion, 

 by courtesy ; he was patronized, occasionally, by a question or two 

 relative to his professional duties. If a signal were made by the 

 Commodore of the fleet, the General was the first to bore the Captain 

 with impertinent inquiries relative to its information, meaning, &c. 

 His rank was presumed to neutralize the intrusive ' platitude' of 

 asking childish questions, while yet the glass was at the Captain's 

 eye. 



He, of course, unhesitatingly interrupted the Captain's communi- 

 cations with the officer in attendance with the signal-book ; and he 

 confused the Midshipman, preparing to unravel the mysteries of the 

 colour-chest. Were the ship's crew employed in sealing their guns, 

 or exercising in the various evolutions of gunnery, the General was 

 there; he longed to give orders, as usual, concerning a subject of 

 which he could possibly know nothing practically, as applicable to 

 sea service. Were the top-gallant sails to be taken in, the top-sails 

 reefed, the gib hauled down, preparatory to a coming squall ; Le 

 voici encore Monsieur le General ! was the word, ' steady' given to 

 the helmsman, in a solemn prolonged tone, technically understood to 

 command severe attention to the helm, you would have found our 

 gentlemen looking into the ' binnacle.' 



Has a flying fish dropped on board, in attempting to cross the ship, 

 " here Midshipman shew this to the General." Has a boneta been 

 speared forward; " where is the General ?" Do the lady passenger 

 wish to walk the quarter-deck, " bless me, where is the General ?" In 

 short, this is but a shadow of that way-giving, time-serving, obse- 

 quious flattery, so grossly spread, layer upon layer, which unfits half 

 the empty heads in the richer, I had almost said the upper walks of 

 life from conducting themselves like any thing but hallucinated asses. 

 Independently of these saturating agents of disgust, I knew the Ge- 

 neral, when in London, to carry constantly about with him a small 



