17 



COMMON INCIDENTS; WITH AN OBSERVATION OR 

 TWO THEREON. 



* Facetiarum apud prsepotentes in longura memoria est.' 



WHAT business I had to sojourn in France, during the war,, is of 

 no consequence to any body. Suffice it to say, I landed at Brighton. 

 Of course I put up at an inn or hotel; whichever the reader pleases; 

 and went through the usual stale misery of location, where a coffee- 

 room is the theatre of" Habeas Corpus" for the ingressor. It is not 

 my purpose here to remark upon the company in the coifee-room ; 

 far less to dilate upon the interesting aggregate of human items 

 usually found in the general coffee-rooms for travellers, in England. 

 I cheerfully consign such labours to the proprietors of Menageries, 

 or Zoological Gardens ; their practical tact enabling them readily to 

 detect that iong-spoken-of partition between animal instinct and 

 reason, which, I confess, my dulness or stubbornness has never 

 enabled me to make any thing of. 



My arrival having been late in the evening, the first word I heard 

 uttered in the coffee-room, while throwing my cloak over the par- 

 tition of my box, was ' BOOTS !' This sound, the euphony of which 

 might admit of disputation, was uttered by a fat man in a purple 

 coat; an ejaculatory note, seemingly propelled by the pressure of 

 the abdominal muscles, as he leant his broad head upon his arms 



crossed on the table before him. BOOTS! 1 do not affect to say 



that I did not understand the appellation, Still my long absence 

 from England had rendered the illustrious cognomen unfamiliar to 

 me. I therefore musingly awaited the appearance of the shining 

 functionary, to the end that I might request him to send the waiter ; 

 for, unlike a ' sentimental traveller,' I wanted something to'eat. 



As the purple man departed for bed, after encasing his feet in 

 those genuine endemic luxuries, English coffee-house slippers, a pale, 

 tall man, clad in a black frock, stepped over to my box, apparently 

 to engage a soy-and-ketchup-splashed newspaper; but more pro* 

 bably in earnest desire to answer the inquiring looks I had, heed- 

 lessly, and unknown to myself, bent upon the man of purple, as he 

 staggered towards his dormitory. 



" That man, sir, is lost," whispered he, in a confidential under- 

 tone. " We shall be called up in the night to him. He betrays in- 

 cipient paralysis of the extremities. I supped in the same box with 

 him. He has eaten two slices of salmon, and a boat of lobster sauce. 

 We drank two bottles of wine together ; after which he had three 

 strong tumblers of hollands and water, and ate a plate of chestnuts !" 



" You are a medical man, sir?'* 



" I am, sir. You, too, are of the profession, as I judge from the 

 attention I observed you pay to the symptoms?" 



I did not answer the interrogative. I simply remarked, that, my 

 observations of the stranger were quite casual, and without interest. 



" Mais vous plaisantez mon cher : n'est il pas vrai que vous etes 

 eleve de 1'ecole de Medecine de ." 



M. M. No. 85. C 



