MORE COMMON INCIDENTS. 169 



When dinner was announced, we all rose, and as there were three 

 males in company, my seniors in age, I naturally wished to shew due 

 deference to their years, by allowing them to couple with the three old 

 women, on the way to the dining-room ; and prepared myself to gain 

 the arm of Eliza. But my lady hostess, who seemed to have guessed 

 my purpose, instantly sailed forward, and offered me her arm, at the 

 same time directing the abominable Van Raven to attend upon my 

 coveted partner. At the dinner table, I had the felicity of being re- 

 galed with the landscape of his face grimacing e a I 'impossible ' to the 

 beauty I adored. Eliza's mother, sat contemplating the sacrilege, 

 with the most confirmatory composure ; and suddenly a flood of fire 

 broke in upon my veins. I now wondered, and was shocked at my 

 own dulness, in not having noticed a hundred incidents, tending to 

 bear upon the fact I dreaded. As the inferences which I drew dark- 

 ened into conviction, I thrust my soup plate from before me, refused 

 every delectable dish, and helped myself to some boiled brisket of 

 beef an enormity, which I mortally execrate. The Heer van Raven 

 appeared perfectly at his ease, and quite content with his companion ; 

 the fellow even opened wide his pewter eyes, and coolly asked me to 

 take wine. 



Whilst employed in ruminating upon my beef, I witnessed some 

 murderous efforts of my hostess to develope a couple of fine wood- 

 cocks, upon whose mangled carcases her mistaken knife and fork had 

 produced an effect equal to the ravages of an exploded shell. I in- 

 stantly proffered my services, to appease the louring frown of her 

 husband, who silently deplored the havoc. 



Meantime a light cloud of vulgarity tainted the atmosphere of Mrs. 

 Groutledge, who indulged in the dubious practice of making a 

 selection of morsels on her own plate, and shooting them, by aid of 

 her knife, with remorseless perseverance into that of her husband, 

 occasionally uttering the anodyne remark, that " they always did so 

 at home." This little interesting and confidential disclosure did not 

 appear to be duly appreciated by my host ; on the contrary, he looked 

 most diabolically disgusted. 



The lady-company soon retired. On our re-union with them in 

 the drawing-room, I took my seat by the side of Eliza, at the piano, 

 where she was preparing to join Musidora in a duet. Just as I had 

 made up my mind to retain my station all the evening, so as com- 

 pletely to exclude any objectionable proximity of the detested Van 

 Raven to Eliza, the clearest and most brilliant tones of a flute sud- 

 denly glided into the harmony of the female performers, combining 

 the most powerful intonation and the most exquisite taste and ex- 

 pression, with such a rapidity of execution as I had never heard 

 equalled, or even nearly approached. The piano ceased as if by en- 

 chantment, and forth from behind the folding-leaves of the skreen 

 egressed the bowing Van Raven, with the magic instrument beneath 

 his arm. Of course, his powers were again and again enlisted in the 

 service of the fair instrumentalists, and it would be paltry and little 

 of me not to confess that he was evidently a musician of the highest 

 order. 



On a move to the supper table being proposed, I offered Eliza my 

 arm, and followed the last of the company. , During the short fete- 



M. M. No. 8f). P 



