SECRETS OF THE BOOK TRADE. 



Publisher. WELL young gentleman, have you brought the manu- 

 script ? 



Author. Yes sir ; and it is my wish to publish a volume. 



Publisher. I never publish single volumes, or even a couple ; for 

 the expence of advertizing is the same for one as for a dozen. 

 Nothing less than three will pay the publisher, and more than three 

 the public will rarely read ? Cannot you spread out your materials 

 into the orthodox number, and convert your Janus into a Cerberus ? 



Author. Certainly I might, but it would weaken and deteriorate 

 my work. If I had two pipes of wine to sell, would you like me to 

 dilute them with water until they filled three ? 



Publisher. Yes, if the public were content to pay the price of 

 three. But pray of what does your manuscript consist ? 



Author. Of essays in prose and verse. 



Publisher. Nobody reads essays, and as to poetry, it's a perfect 

 drug in the market, unless it be religious, when it will sometimes run 

 like wildfire, or rather, like a leaden bullet ; the heavier it is, the 

 greater the hit, and the farther it will go. If the saints take it up, they 

 will presently puff a bubble into a balloon, and metamorphose a 

 Montgomery into a Milton. 



Author. I am happy to say, the majority of my poems are of a 

 devotional character. 



Publisher* Indeed: then there may be hope. What particular 

 dogma do you uphold, and what sect do you more especially attack, 

 reprobate, and condemn ? 



Author. It has been my endeavour to assert the beauty of Chris- 

 tianity in the abstract, as the religion of peace, love, and charity, and, 

 therefore, I condemn nothing but the odium theologicum, and the spirit 

 of intolerance, wherever it may be found. 



Publisher. My dear sir, this will never do ! allow me to lick you 

 into shape a little. They who call themselves pious and serious 

 people, think they cannot better show their love of the Creator than 

 by hating all their fellow-creatures who differ from them, whether 

 they believe more or less ; and the smaller the difference the greater 

 the rancour. Are you not aware, that religion in England is a matter 

 of hereditary fashion and faction, and that ever since the time of the 

 cavaliers and roundheads, the upper classes and the gentry go to the 

 established church, while the rest of the population betake themselves 

 to dissenting chapels, meeting-houses, and conventicles ? The public 

 would read religion just as they practise it; so that if your poems be 

 not controversial if they be not either an attack or a defence, you 

 will be accused of lukewarmness, perhaps of infidelity, and will be 

 infallibly decried by all parties. Virulence is our only selling com- 

 modity, no matter on which side it be exercised ; in spiritual writings 

 every thing is tolerated except toleration. 



Author. To such an unchristian spirit I will never pander. My 



