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GENTLEMAN'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY. xi( * 

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* te <noitea**t8floD I>^AMPLB THE SECOND. 







[Tx the first sample of my Memoirs (Vol. xiv. p. 17.) I mentioned some of 

 the difficulties which I had to encounter, at an age when one's experience 

 must necessarily be limited, and one's judgment, consequently, far from 

 mature : in the present specimen I purpose giving some idea of the position 

 iu which I was placed by circumstances, at a more recent period of my hum- 

 ble career ; begging the reader, however, to observe, that although upwards 

 of forty, I was nevertheless yet a stranger to much of that practical wisdom 

 with which I have since become Acquainted (it may readily be guessed at 

 whose cost), and therefore more exposed than I now am, perhaps, to the 

 dangers of social life. Even at present I am far from being in a condition to 

 feel secure, although I have seen a good deal of the world, and am, as nearly 

 as I can guess, about fifty. This is the fact, and I take a sort of malicious 

 joy in avowing it. My acquaintance for many years past having constantly 

 been in the habit of prophesying, in an unpleasant tone of confidence, that it 

 was not possible I could live long. I glory in having disappointed them ; but 

 candour compels me to confess that they have sometimes, to a considerable 

 extent, been warranted in their gloomy predictions death having more than 

 twice or thrice actually stared me in the face; I may even venture to say, 

 that nothing but great professional skill could have saved me from his clutches. 

 In one instance my days would, as I have reason to believe, have been most 

 certainly numbered, had I not been removed to another clime ; which, how- 

 over, such is my disposition, I ventured to quit long before, strictly speaking, 

 I ought to have done so ; consequently, although apparently in good health, 

 even at this moment I am not perfectly safe from the horrors of a relapse. 

 \\vii n'importe, I a '.n in tolerable spirits, and hope to make old bones yet. And here 

 I cannot, justifiably to my own conscience, omit acknowledging the kind and 

 brotherly notice which my former specimen met with from the Editor of the 

 Spectator, who doubtless felt for my trials. He is, I am told, a benevolent, 

 good creature, in easy circumstances, whose friendship I should be most 

 happy to enjoy, because I am sure, from what I have heard, it would, to a 

 man of my pursuits, prove decidedly advantageous. But I must set him 

 right as to one point : he fancies, as nearly as I can guess from his observa- 

 tjpna, that I am a person of whom he has heard, but never saw, named 

 Harry Stoe Van Dyck. This gentleman has, however, long been gathered to 

 his fathers ; I, on the contrary, as I need scarcely observe, am still alive ; 

 and so far from being a person whom the Editor of the Spectator has merely 

 Heard of, I am not only known to him, but, although our acquaintance has 

 never been sufficiently intimate to be made so beneficial to myself as I could 

 wish, lie was, as I well remember, one of my guests, on the only occasion in 

 my life when I indulged in the extravagance (being usually frugal and unos- 

 tentatious) of presenting my friends with three courses and a dessert. At 

 present I would rather not reveal my name, for to me notoriety has always 

 been disgusting.] 



" Few things, my dear/' I observed to Mrs. Garnet, "in domestic 

 economy, are so obnoxious to censure, as a raw red and green coloured 

 cobweb which some people stretch upon their floors, and denominate 

 a Kidderminster carpet. One feels the wood through it at every step, 

 especially when in one's pumps or slippers. The Venetian variety is 



M. M. No, 86. T 



