SOME GENTLEMAN'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 203 



"But why not take a longer jaunt, Dick ?" interrupted Mrs. Gar- 

 net. " I will confess to you, that for many days past I have felt 

 perfectly satisfied as to your being quite able to leave the house, but 

 delicacy would not permit me to say so until you mentioned it your- 

 self. You have done so, and I now may ask why this preliminary 

 drive ? Why not book your place for Edinburgh, or take the Calais 

 steamer, or stroll into the city after nightfall, at once ?" 



Of course I inquired what in the name of every thing on earth she 

 meant, protesting that I never felt so astonished and mystified in the 

 whole course of my life, and concluding with a slight impeachment 

 as to the validity of her intellect. She stared upon me with an 

 expression of stupid wonder. " My dear," said I, " your restlessness 

 last night has evidently so shattered your nerves, that your situation 

 distresses me. You have been very low-spirited lately you have 

 indeed ; I have remarked it, though I said nothing, hoping that it 

 would wear off when I could take you out. But you won't venture 

 with me, that's the fact. Well, I'm not angry not I. Take Tom, 

 as you used to do when I was bed-ridden ; or if you cannot muster 

 up sufficient energy for that, be persuaded to be put in possession of 

 more iron : I will send for a series of tonics which " 



" No, Dick, I'll swallow none of your prescriptions that's flat !" 



" Unaccountable, foolish, womanly prejudice ! What ! because I 

 am now practising the law, is it to be concluded that the results of my 

 early medical studies have completely evanesced ?" 



" No : but you are artfully leading me, Dick, from my topic. I 

 have been thinking of it all night. In plain English, it is time for us 

 to part." 



" Part !" I exclaimed , " your proposition is most odious and un- 

 reasonable." 



" Fiddlestick !" said she : " you ought, in honour, to be off. Go 

 to America ; take enough to pay your passage, and fifty pounds 

 extra for contingencies." 



" But why, my dear you are certainly mad why should I go to 

 America ? Neither business nor inclination calls me to the new world. 

 Why quit my present position in society ? Here I stand, with every 

 thing pleasant about me; aged forty- three, it is true, but with a good 

 constitution ; a wife whom I idolized when she was a girl, although 

 another had the felicity of being blessed with her maiden love that 

 Abaddon in canonicals, the Rev. Decimus Pontypool an establish- 

 ment unexceptionably comfortable, nay, elegant ; a good connexion- 

 speaking as an attorney, managed entirely by a confidential clerk, 

 who " 



Mrs. Garnet, I blush to say it, here interrupted me by the most 

 indecent laugjiter, which she wound up with an impudent denial of 

 my identity. 



I only ask any man, if he would not have played the very devil at 

 this ? But, with more temper than people men possess, I began to rea- 

 son the point. Mrs. G., however, soon interrupted me, thus: 

 " Your gravity, Dick, is excessively droll, but, joking apart, you 

 must go. I'll give you fifty pounds for your trouble, but you must 

 really bolt .'" 



Am I in debt, then ?" cried I. " Is the name of Garnet" 



