274) THE PRUSSIAN GENTLEMAN. 



had, moreover, a plan the product of a true genius to obtain the 

 most unquestionable acceptances. His scheme was as follows : He 

 would, by some means, hunt out the sons of rich merchants and 

 bankers of men who come " smug upon the mart" and, by dint 

 of wheedling, fawning, cringing, get the unsuspecting lads to write 

 the required words across the stamp, and thus render the document 

 " good as the Bank." This is no fiction. More than once has Hans 

 lined his empty purse by this ingenious device ; and by that inex- 

 plicable good fortune, which is often seen to attend the most subtle 

 and daring labours in the fields of chicane, Kutzlus has, until the 

 present period, escaped ! 



Whilst on the subject of bills, an anecdote, characteristic of the 

 temperament of Hans, may not here be inserted out of place. Our 

 hero had driven the bill system as far as it would go those bits of 

 paper, whose consequences are prophetically and allegorically dis- 

 played in the wings by which Icarus sought to fly (a position, we 

 think, made sufficiently manifest by the popular expression, ef to 

 raise the wind") were about to desert friend Hans; when, one 

 night, contemplating on the approaching ruin as the climax to his 

 fears he suddenly remembered that a bill, to the tune of upwards 

 of a hundred pounds, became due in the morning ! The fatal docu- 

 ment was held by a particular friend of Hans one of those soft- 

 mouthed leeches who suck at the rate of thirty per cent. Our hero 

 knew that his benefactor had no drop of pity not one " so big as is 

 a wren's eye." Well, the crisis was come it was inevitable and 

 Hans flung round, and plunged his head into his pillow, with that 

 recklessness of feeling which, in our vanity, we are apt to club phi- 

 losophy, and to exclaim, or at least to think, " Well, let the world 

 crack, I'll take my rest !" But the bill was due to-morrow, and 

 Kutzlus could not rest. A cold, legal hand seemed crawling up his 

 shoulder then came the thought of turnkeys, and of the unavailable 

 hour, that must see his genius " cabin'd, cribb'd, confin'd" by the 

 sullen walls of a county gaol. Still Kutzlus kept awake : but take 

 his own words : 



" Veil, sir, vhat could I do ? I turned, and turned and ' how de 

 deyvil,' said I to myself, ' can I take up dis bill?' Den I damned 

 de bill but dat did no goot. Den I tought if I could talk him over 

 but I knowd it vas no use ; den I tried to go to sleep. Den de 

 vatchman cried von o'clock two o'clock dree o'clock four o'clock 

 and up I jumps. Veil, I dresses myself, and goes avay to de 

 holder of de bill. It vas a fine summer's morning, in de month of 

 July, and mein friendt lived by Baddington ; and as I valked over 



de fields, de birds sung beautiful, and de sun vas out, and " 



(The wily sinner! Those who had not been previously warned of 

 the exploits of Kutzlus, would have thought him as they heard him 

 stepping aside from John Doe, to enumerate the scattered beauties of 

 a July morning a spotless, unsophisticated soul jaded and mis- 

 placed amidst the turmoil and traffic of the world yearning for the 

 scenes and customs of pastoral life thirsting, with a deep thirst, to 

 exchange . s. d. for a green hill, a purling stream, and a flock of 

 sheep!) 



