292 HUMBUG OF THE BAR. 



mer's deputy. The counsel of our own clay too boast of their pro- 

 fessional inability to demand or sue for fees ;* but how seldom do we 

 hear of one receiving a brief without ufee, on pleading a cause gra- 

 tuitously ?f It is against their very rules to do so. A barrister may, 

 for a guinea or two, prostitute his skill to the support of an unjust 

 action, and remain an honourable member of the bar ; but let him 

 seek gratuitous advocacy in the defence of the oppressed or indigent, 

 and he will be immediately cut by his <f learned friends" at West- 

 minster, circuit, and sessions, for kuggery, (that is their term) and 

 disreputable practice. In fine, whilst the high-souled barrister 

 shrinks with theoretical horror from every thing approaching to soli- 

 citation of a fee ; he clutches it with the rapacity of a pongo pouches 

 it with the rapidity of a monkey, and retains it with the tenacity of 

 a bull-dog. <( No money returned," say the play-bills no money 

 returned cries the barrister " dum vimmus, vivamus." 



But let us descend into detail: what qualifications are necessary for 

 the bar, and the conduct of its members, with reference to each other, 

 the court, and the client or attorney ? The recommendation of 

 two barristers, thirty pounds, and a bond for the payment of accruing 

 dues, will procure the student's admission to any Inn of Court. Here 

 he must remain five, but if a member of an English or Irish Uni- 

 versity, only three years, before he can be called, and in either case 

 nine exercises and twelve terms must be kept, the non-university 

 student being obliged previously to deposit 100, to which he has to 

 add a few more before he can assume the wig and gown. The exer- 

 cises are a mere farce, being put into the student's hand ready 

 written, and to which he receives a nod of approbation before he can 

 pronounce the second word ! Keeping terms is only another phrase 

 for eating dinners, a certain number of which constitute a term. In 

 the mean time the student is supposed to have passed some time under 

 a special pleader, or equity draughtsman, but for aught the benchers 

 of the Inn know to the contrary, they may call to the bar, a man who 

 never opened a law book, nor entered a court ! Such are the prelimi- 

 naries which entitle an individual to the appellation of " my learned 

 friend." 



The courtesy which exists among the members of the bar is at the 

 expense of their clients. A prisoner unjustly arrested, cannot have 

 the rule made absolute for his discharge on Monday, because it is in- 

 convenient for the opposing counsel to argue the point until to-morrow 

 perhaps Wednesday or Thursday. " You must be aware," says 

 the prisoner's advocate to the attorney, " that I am perfectly ready, 

 and in fact there can be no doubt about the point, but my learned 

 friend has put it to me as a matter of personal obligation to himself, 

 to delay the motion, and says he really has not looked at his brief." 



But to come into court upon a more important occasion ; let the 

 reader fancy himself the plaintiff in a cause about to be brought on. 

 Previously to the trial, a consultation is in all probability deemed 

 necessary, which, as the court sits at half-past nine, is appointed 

 prior to that time in the robing-room or the coffee-house, where the 



See note No. I. appended, f See note No. 2. 



