298 DIARY OF A JOKE-HUNTER. 



dollars per annum. Compulsory labour is of small comparative 

 value ; for it has been shewn by Mr. M'Duffie, that the profit upon 

 the labour of an able-bodied slave employed in the cultivation of 

 cotton, does not, at the present time, exceed the sum of 6| cents, or 

 less than 3d. sterling per day ; which sum is to compensate for the 

 numbers of the infirm, the aged, and the young, with all the general 

 charges of the soil. Yet will the planters die in defence of this 

 withering system : and it is generally supposed, that the present de- 

 termination to retire from the Union, is founded less upon the evils 

 arising from the Tariff, than from the fast-approaching question of 

 the power of Congress to emancipate their slaves. Whatever may be 

 the issue of the present train of events, the traveller in the southern 

 states of this great Union, sees at least these truths that prejudice is 

 the foulest weed that overspreads this world that justice is our own 

 self-interest, and liberty the best policy. 



DIARY OF A JOKE-HUNTER. 



FEBRUARY 1st. On weighing myself this morning, found that I 

 could only draw seven stone six; so that since Saturday I had 

 evidently dissipated of animal material seven oz. one dwt. Sent 

 for Sir A. C., who, when made acquainted with the alarming symp- 

 toms, told me I did not take a sufficient quantity of pedestrianism 

 and cachinnation. Retreated to duelling distance, and delicately 

 asked if his spaniel had bitten him, or whether his other friends had 

 discovered any change in his conduct ? In reply, Sir A. considered 

 himself in a situation to feel hurt and insulted, and firmly insisted 

 on my " going out" with him. Begged to postpone the honour until 

 I had completed my darling design of condensing the wisdom of all 

 authors, ancient and modern, into a pocket duodecimo. Sir A., in 

 rejoinder, had been misunderstood his character was pacific to say 

 nothing of his profession, and his proposition was most humane. 

 Shook hands, and requested him to write for me : with his usual be- 

 nevolence he did folded up the prescription put it into my hands, 

 and hastily departed. Opened the paper, and found the following 

 mystery : " TAKE of walking exercise every morning two hours ; 

 TAKE also the advice of Lord Camden's head at Camden Town." 

 Passed the rest of the day in perfect amazement. At night dreamt 

 of Sir A. C.'s spaniel. 



2nd. On awaking, stepped anxiously into the scale horror-struck 

 to find that, with all my efforts, I could not overcome more than 

 seven stone five ! Thought of Sir A. C.'s prescription, and deter- 

 mined on solving the sphinx, or speaking on the subject to Adjutant 



B , who would, I was sure, tell me, in a friendly way, if I ought, 



in justice to my friends, to be blood-thirsty. Got down half a quar- 

 ter of a round of dry toast, and a coffee cup of thin tea. Dressed. 

 Laundress amazed, and asked if she should bring a chariot to cham- 

 bers. Told her I was only going to Camden Town, and as it was 



