304 DIAEY OF A JOKE-HUNTER. 



wrote a lively letter of thanks to Sir A. C. Dined at chambers 

 again. M. dropped in with a few of his heads cachinnations conse- 

 quent upon inspection of them immense. Knowing my pursuits, he 

 had benevolently brought a joke a bitter one. Dr. Unicorn Baja- 

 zet was not excessively idolized by his flock ; on the contrary, the 

 sheep detested their wolf, and not without reason. Dr. Unicorn 

 Bajazet died, and his funeral was superb. As the hearse proceeded 

 slowly through the village, a little boy modestly asked one of the 

 attendants, " If you please, sir, are these same horses going with Dr. 

 Bajazet all the way to the naughty place ?" 



R. came about eight o'clock, to compliment me on my resuscita- 

 tion, and take me to Covent (farden sensibly grew fat upon K/s 

 acting, and went round to thank him. While getting into plain 

 clothes, told him my whole collection of jokes seriatim. Said he saw 

 one once, that wasn't bad. An unfortunate milkman had his heels 

 mysteriously tripped up in Holy well- Street, and the contents of his 

 cans deluged the gutter. Out rushed the Jews young and old 

 tag-rag and bob-tail all armed with reluctant cats, to lap up that 

 benign fall of the milky- way ! Ran against L. in the wings apolo- 

 gised wished him all the success he deserved for his spirit and 

 taste as a manager and " promiscuously" inquired if he had heard 

 the joke of the day. Protested that he hadn't, and begged to know 

 what it was. George S. luckily stepped up at this critical epoch, 

 and asked if it was the hard-dumpling story. Said it was, and be- 

 sought him to tell it. He acquiesced, and I had the felicity of mak- 

 ing the following addition to my stock : At a young lady's seminary, 

 where the pupils, with a view to their improvement, were permitted 

 to speak French, no matter how bad from morning till night, little 

 Selina Grout, who detested pork, and doated on hard dumplings, 

 was one day bewailing to Miss Jane Mobbs, who sat next her at din- 

 ner, that the only dishes on the table were a griskin and a spare-rib 

 she hated pig in any shape too well, not to know its various forms 

 when Miss Mobbs interrupted her with this elegant consolation, 

 " Nefrettez pas, ma chere : il sera DIFFICILES DUMPLINGS demaiti." 



9th. Mending rapidly capital appetite, as well for food as work. 

 Cleared table of both. In the afternoon called upon P. Sincerely 

 congratulated my friend on the success of his late play ; in which I 

 understood he had enacted an Irish character most delightfully. 

 Brought in my two bulls with the coffee ; and another, as I had an- 

 ticipated, was forthwith added to my little herd. A grave, cautious 

 native of the county Cork (whose father, being a Scotchman, had 

 taught him to write,) after having gone through a little more than 

 he desired, at length found a comfortable berth, in the cellar of a 

 manufactory, which was heated throughout by a hot-water appa- 

 ratus. All he had to do, was to keep up the fire beneath the boiler. 

 One day, the heat having unaccountably slackened, somebody stepped 

 below to see what could be the matter. Our hero was found, pen- 

 in-hand, with a penny memorandum-book on his knee. He was at- 

 tending to his private concerns; and on being asked what papers 

 were burning beneath the grate, he gave the following explanation : 

 " He was a regular man, and paid his bills of course getting them 

 ' receipted' every Saturday nig-ht: but in process of time, they had 



