DIARY OF A JOKE-HUNTER. 305 



become too voluminous to suit his convenience: he had therefore 

 entered them all correctly in a book; and having done that, he 

 naturally felt quite safe in burning the originals" 



Supped with W., and fished from him the following : A young 

 artist, who had nothing but a brush to depend upon, ran up a score 

 of seventeen shillings and some odd pence, with a very fat, coarse, 

 vulgar-looking lady, who, being left a lone woman, with two sweet 

 girls (twins,) the image of each other, and miniatures of herself, con- 

 descended to keep together her late husband's connexion in the 

 green-grocery line, until she could do better. With a twin in either 

 hand, she dunned the young artist daily. Circumstances debarred 

 him from the felicity of bolting, and he was compelled to make terms 

 with her. She raised the siege on these conditions ; namely that 

 he, the said artist, should paint a proper portrait of her, the said 

 greengrocer's widow, from head to foot, with HALF LENGTHS, on the 

 same canvas, of her dear twins, so as to make a comfortable, substan- 

 tial family picture : in return for which she, the said fat contracting 

 party, was to give the other a full and free release. The painter speedily 

 accomplished his task, but not altogether to the satisfaction of the 

 lady, who, before she gave the desired discharge, insisted on each of 

 her twins pointing to her, and being made to say, by means of a 

 loop issuing from their lips, after the manner of caricatures, " This 

 here's my mamma!" 



In the course of the night, another fine arts anecdote was turned up. 

 A gentleman of some reputation as an artist, had the extraordinary 

 good luck to obtain credit at a cheesemonger's. His teeth, however, 

 completely distanced his palette ; for, by the time he had earned five 

 pounds, he had eaten upwards of twenty. Being a man of singular 

 honesty, considering as soon as he had received the fruit of his la- 

 bours, he determined on devoting a portion of it to the discharge of 

 his liabilities. He therefore deputed a literary friend to offer, in 

 return for the butter, eggs, bacon, ham, brawn, pork (pickled and 

 fresh,) Gloucester, Cheshire, Chedder, and Stilton, he had had, one- 

 and-riinepence in the pound. " Oh ! my customer is an artist, is 

 he ?" exclaimed the cheesemonger to the man of letters. " I wish he 

 had mentioned that afore eh, Jem?" winking at his shopman. 

 " We knows an artist or two don't we ?" another wink. " And 

 so now, arter getting a matter o' twenty pound in my debt here, he 

 sends and offers sich a compysition as this. What do you say, Jem?" 

 " Oh, I say," replied Jem, " take the money, master. One-and- 

 ninepence in the pound is uncommon liberal for an artist specially the 

 odd threepence." 



10th. Sunday. 



llth Went to the British Institution. Pictorial jokes abundant. 

 Hood beaten hollow. Inter alia, noticed portrait of a young lady, 

 dressed for the painter, in strict accordance with the last importation 

 of monthly fashions from Paris thought it was prim Miss Popps, or 

 young Mrs. Apricot referred to the catalogue, and blushed to find 

 that it was Amy Robsart ! Westall more funny than usual Hayter 

 very jocose ! In his picture of that syren, the fascinating and fa- 



M. M. No. 87. 2 I 



