

THE RELATION THAT TOOK A LIKING TO ME. 



gotten ; since I have known her to receive written notice of coming 

 friends a few days beforehand, and then be as surprised to see them 

 when they got there as if they were but just born in the world. 

 When I once more got down into the country, I found Miss Julia 

 to be to the full as good as her description, and better so far as a man's 

 judgment of a lady may be preferred to a lady's. 



I shook my old aunt like a palsy, and caused the pent-houses of 

 her eyes to be for once taken of their dim suspension. I gave her all 

 the compliments I had saved for Julia, and expatiated both largely 

 and loudly upon the pleasantness of the weather, without stopping to 

 inquire whether she heard me or not. Placing my chin on the top of 

 the blind at the old window it was the same as it was seven years 

 ago, alike to day and yesterday I descanted on the beauty of the 

 garden prospect, and, among the rest, made what I thought a sen- 

 timental remark about the old church tower, which rose beyond the 

 boundary plantation. My old aunt's ears did not catch the words 

 " Ah, ah," said she. I repeated it ; she looked at me half a moment, 

 and then added, " I am getting so very deaf." I then bellowed it out 

 again in a style which made me ashamed of myself, setting the yard 

 dog a-barking, and frightening a pair of guinea fowls off the lawn. 

 The old lady still did not appear to be enlightened ; she looked be- 

 wildered ; while she turned to her daughter Julia with "I don't hear 

 what he says." Julia reddened, and taking the words out of my 

 mouth absolutely beat them into the old lady's drums : " My 

 cousin says, the old church tower looks very solemn and picturesque 

 from the window." " Oh !" she screamed out at the top of her 

 voice although, from the answer she made, I verily believe she did 

 not hear a word " Oh, yes ; they whistle very nicely all day long, 

 both night and morning." Miss Julia, for laughing, dare not look 

 again at her mother ; and I myself most heartily prayed I could 

 whistle equally well, for if she could hear one, she then might have 

 some small chance of apprehending the other. This in fact was her 

 worst failing ; as if not content to have people's throats torn two or 

 three times a-day of necessity, she no sooner observed one's lips mo- 

 ving in the way of discourse, than she wanted to know what it was 

 about ; and thus every odd end of conversation that happened to 

 catch the tail of her eye had to be rehearsed again and again, until 

 every word of it haunted the imagination six months after. I have 

 known the cook to be to the full half an hour in drumming into her, 

 that the eggs were cooked enough. 



At last, Miss Julia and I learned to talk through our teeth, and 

 then, indeed, I found her deafness a most convenient accommodation ; 

 for a man does not always talk to his cousin in a style which requires 

 the presence of her mother. In this respect my deaf aunt was mostly 

 as good as if she was absent, only sometimes she would catch a stray 

 smile, or a something which betokened that there was a kind of con- 

 versation going forward, and then I was obliged to put her off with 

 an answer of a complexion somewhat different to the real subject of 

 debate. I dare say, by this time, the reader smells a rat ; if so, there 

 is no occasion to lengthen an already too long story. Courtships are 

 very pleasant to those engaged in them ; but horribly tedious to 



