THE BOARDTNG-HQUSE. 179 



" And when he is up," said Mrs. Tibbs, " we never can persuade 

 him to go to bed again." 



" Dear me ! " said the astonished Mrs. Bloss, drawing her chair 

 nearer Mrs. Tibbs. " What is his complaint?" 



" Why, the fact is," replied Mrs. Tibbs, with a most communica- 

 tive air, " he has no stomach whatever." 



" No what ? " inquired Mrs. Bloss, with a look of the most inde- 

 scribable alarm. 



" No stomach," repeated Mrs. Tibbs, with a shake of the head. 



"Lord bless us! what an extraordinary case!" gasped Mrs. 

 Bloss, as if she understood the communication in its literal sense, and 

 was astonished at a gentleman without a stomach finding it necessary 

 to board anywhere. 



" When I say he has no stomach," explained the chatty little Mrs. 

 Tibbs, " I mean that his digestion is so much impaired, and his in- 

 terior so deranged, that his stomach is not of the least use to him ; 

 in fact, it's rather an inconvenience than otherwise." 



" Never heard such a case in my life !" exclaimed Mrs. Bloss. 

 " Why, he's worse than I am." 



" Oh, yes ! " replied Mrs. Tibbs ; " certainly/' She said this 

 with great confidence, for the set of the damson pelisse satisfactorily 

 proved that Mrs. Bloss, at all events, was not suffering under Mr. 

 Gobler's complaint. 



" You have quite incited my curiosity," said Mrs. Bloss, as she 

 rose to depart. " How I long to see him !" 



" He generally comes down once a week," replied Mrs. Tibbs ; 

 ee I dare say you'll see him on Sunday." And with this consolatory 

 promise Mrs. Bloss was obliged to be contented. She accordingly 

 walked slowly down the stairs, detailing her complaints all the way ; 

 and Mrs. Tibbs followed her, uttering an exclamation of compassion 

 at every step. James (who looked very gritty, for he was cleaning 

 the knives) fell up the kitchen-stairs, and opened the street-door; 

 and, after mutual farewells, Mrs. Bloss slowly departed down the 

 shady side of the street. 



It is almost superfluous to say, that the lady whom we have just 

 shown out at the street-door (and whom the two female servants are 

 now inspecting from the second-floor windows) was exceedingly 

 vulgar, ignorant, and selfish. Her deceased better-half had been an 

 eminent cork-cutter, in which capacity he had amassed a decent fortune. 

 He had no relative but his nephew, and no friend but his cook. The 

 former had the insolence one morning to ask for the loan of fifteen 

 pounds, and by way of retaliation he married the latter next day ; he 

 made a will immediately afterwards, containing a burst of honest 

 indignation against his nephew (who supported himself and two 

 sisters on 100/. a year), and a bequest of his whole property to his 

 wife. He felt ill after breakfast, and died after dinner. There is a 

 mantelpiece-looking tablet in a civic parish church, setting forth his 

 virtues, and deploring his loss. He never dishonoured a bill, or gave 

 away a halfpenny ! 



The relict and sole executrix of this noble-minded man was an odd 

 mixture of shrewdness and simplicity, liberality and meanness. Bred 



