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SECRET MEMORANDUMS, 



FOUND AMONG THE PAPERS OP THE LATE BRADSHAW ELLWORTHY, 

 A CONTRIBUTOR TO ALL THE MAGAZINES. 



MAGAZINE reading is one of the private delights of social existence ; 

 but magazine writing is one of the most laborious tasks in nature. A 

 few years of such occupation is almost too great a trial both for the 

 powers and patience of humanity. To read " an excellent number" 

 is to be in a parterre of paradise ; but to " contribute" is to be in 

 purgatory. To loiter in poetic mood through a beautiful garden, and 

 pick and choose the most alluring peaches, grapes, nectarines, figs, 

 plumbs or luscious pears (some people like a cold carrot to scrape and 

 nibble at, or the long crispness of a squared cabbage-stalk) ; to pluck 

 the violet and the lemon-plant, as we saunter carelessly along, or nuzzle 

 the whole face into a bed of roses, is an exquisite enjoyment of 

 existence : but compare this with the incessant toil of the experi- 

 mentalizing horticulturist and florist ; or more properly with that of 

 any under-gardener who is required to have all the same knowledge 

 besides " all the fag," and the difference between reading maga- 

 zines and writing for them is quite manifest. Yet no : it is not so 

 very manifest either : it is only explicit to the understanding ; for 

 who can feel its full force save those who have " suffered in the 

 cause ?" 



If I had my life to come over again, I would follow some lucrative 

 trade, in order that I might retire at a future period upon one hun- 

 dred and ten pounds per annum, having nothing else to do for the 

 remainder of my earthly sojourn but read magazines : all the new 

 ones that come out, and the Retrospective for my standing stock ! 

 But this " devout consummation" can never be realized. Let me 

 for a moment forget my own sad lot: let me send howling into obli- 

 vion would it could be a lasting one .'the memory of all my 

 drudgery of racking brain and scrambling pen, as a contributor : let 

 me fancy myself a man of independent property a prince command- 

 ing a wide domain of leisure one of the elect a king of time a 

 creature born to infinite good luck ; a gentle reader ! 



We look forward to our favourites of the monthly batch, as the in- 

 tellectual peers that are to enhance our knowledge, strengthen our 

 understanding, and in the course of their pages amuse and tickle our 

 fancies, even like a "motley-minded gentleman." The quarterly 

 periodicals are more grave, sententious, and apart. They are too 

 reverend, dictatorial, and stilted, to be approached lightly ; and the 

 true Magazine Reader accordingly gives preference to the less as- 

 sumptive and more familiar births of the month, whose faces he sees 

 oftener, and with whom he is consequently so much better ac- 

 quainted. Anticipative of pleasure, instruction, and excitement, we 

 await their arrival on the appointed day ; counting the tardy hours 

 and lagging pace of the stupid, wooden-legged, insensible old or 

 young fool who is to bring them to us ; thrumming the table with 



