( 360 ) 



THE STEAM EXCURSION. 



MR. PERCY NOAKES was a law-student inhabiting a set of chambers 

 on the fourth floor, in one of those houses in Gray's-inn-square, which 

 command an extensive view of the gardens, and their usual adjuncts 

 flaunting nursery-maids, and town-made children, with parentheti- 

 cal legs. Mr. Percy Noakes was what is generally termed " a 

 devilish good fellow." He had a large circle of acquaintance, and 

 seldom dined at his own expense. He used to talk politics to papas, 

 flatter the vanity of mammas, do the amiable to their daughters, make 

 pleasure engagements with their sons, and romp with the younger 

 branches. Like those paragons of perfection, advertising footmen 

 out of place, he was always "willing to make himself generally use- 

 ful." If any old lady, whose son was in India, gave a ball, Mr. Percy 

 Noakes was master of the ceremonies ; if any young lady made a 

 stolen match, Mr. Percy Noakes gave her away ; if a juvenile wife 

 presented her husband with a blooming cherub, Mr. Percy Noakes 

 was either godfather or deputy godfather ; and, if any member of a 

 friend's family died, Mr. Percy Noakes was invariably to be seen in 

 the second mourning coach, with a white handkerchief to his eyes, 

 sobbing to use his own appropriate and expressive description 

 (f like winkin !" 



It may readily be imagined that these numerous avocations were 

 rather calculated to interfere with Mr. Percy Noakes's professional 

 studies. Mr. Percy Noakes was perfectly aware of the fact, and he 

 had, therefore, after mature reflection, made up his mind not to study 

 at all a laudable determination, to which he adhered in the most 

 praiseworthy manner. His sitting-room presented a strange chaos of 

 dress-gloves, boxing-gloves, caricatures, albums, invitation cards, foils, 

 cricket-bats, card-board drawings, paste, gum, and fifty other extra- 

 ordinary articles, heaped together in the strangest confusion. He was 

 always making something for somebody, or planning some party of 

 pleasure, which was his great forte. He invariably spoke with as- 

 tonishing rapidity ; was smart, spoffish, and eight-and-twenty. 



" Splendid idea, 'pon my life," soliloquized Mr. Percy Noakes, 

 over his morning's coffee, as his mind reverted to a suggestion which 

 had been thrown out the previous night, by a lady at whose house he 

 had spent the evening. " Glorious idea ! Mrs. Stubbs," cried the 

 student, raising his voice. 



<( Yes, Sir," replied a dirty old woman, with an inflamed coun- 

 tenance, emerging from the bed-room, with a barrel of dirt and cin- 

 ders. This was the laundress. "Did you call, Sir?" 



" Oh ! Mrs. Stubbs, I'm going out; if that tailor should call again 

 you'd better say you'd better say, I'm out of town, and shan't be 

 back for a fortnight; and, if that bootman should come, tell him I've 

 lost his address, or I'd have sent him that little amount ; mind he 

 writes it down ; and if Mr. Hardy should call you know Mr. 

 Hardy?" 



