>TOTES OF THE MONTH. 573 



tribunal of the testator. Now one may very readily surmise that it 

 required no ordinary comprehension to understand the effusions of the 

 man of precedent's muse if he could understand that, he could under- 

 stand any thing. The Baron naturally inferred that the brain that could 

 digest his elaborations in rhyming, had little need of being over rigid 

 in the reasoning. We regret to say that this view of the sapient de- 

 ponent's argument was not taken, as the witness was never once 

 asked what was the opinion of the testator. We regret this ; as there 

 can be but one notion of the bardic excellencies of the learned 

 Justice. We think there could not have been a better criterion for 

 ascertaining the sanity or insanity of the will-maker than his criticism 

 on the lawyer's sacrifice to the tuneful sisterhood. 



" MAKING A LEG." An Emerald gem of the first water, named 

 Norah Gaffney, who lives when at home at a public establishment 

 maintained by the good people of St. Martin's, was, under a certain 

 clause in a certain act, lately condemned to pay ten shillings fine as 

 penalty for conveying three quarterns of rum into her domicile, situate 

 as aforesaid. It is no easy task to eschew the lynx-eyed guardian of 

 the portals of St. Martin's one so " consumedly" cognisant of stratagy 

 would be invaluable in any of our foreign defensive positions. The 

 captor of Norah announced to the magistrate that she had dexterously 

 adapted a peculiar kind of bottle to fit inside her stockings, as to ex- 

 actly resemble the calf of her leg ! " What will not the woman do 

 who loves ?" Byron, it is said, fancied himself something of a pro- 

 phet ! could he have had Norah in his eye when he wrote " She 

 walks in beauty ;" or is our heroine the prototype of Moore's " Norah 

 Creina, dear ?" But what are bards to Mrs. Gaffney now ? She was 

 tried at Bow-street, and of course her measures were not found leg-all. 



A TRITON OF THE MINNOWS. London is occupying itself in 

 talking about the site of a new house of parliament, and a sage at 

 Liverpool has likewise ventured an opinion. This worthy individual 

 fancies himself, and half a score Tories, to be the world, and de- 

 clare they will have no parliament in London ! " What's the 

 use ?" inquireth our astute friend " why drag nine-tenths of the 

 nobles and illustrious commons to the extremity of the island for 

 the accommodation of lawyers and linendrapers who are senators ?" 

 Now we would be sworn, this tilter with a bulrush is the seventh son 

 of some tape-measurer from the Hebrides. Lawyers and linendrapers 

 who are senators ! He stole the phrase from one of Hook's latest, 

 and thinks it sounds mighty polite to echo the jejune puppyism. Here 

 we have a specimen of the " killing genteel, retailing, fashionablte 

 slang," with all the second-hand swagger of a milliner's foot-boy. 

 " The true vulgar," says Hazlitt, " are the servum pecus imitatorum 

 the herd of pretenders to what they do not feel, and what is not na- 

 tural to them." If the person of this unhappy scribe be no bigger 

 than his wit, he deserves to be impaled on a knitting-needle for his 

 pertness. 



M.M. No. 107. 4 E 



