TOM RAFFLES. 431 



Tom called a very incomprehensible smile, bade him take a chair, 

 and the following dialogue ensued : 



" I hope you liked your milk-punch last night, Mr. Raffles?" 



" Not very much, of course," replied Tom, who began to cheer up 

 with the thought that the master was bantering him, as a preliminary 

 to restoring him to the freedom of the buttery. 



" You do it an injustice, Mr. Raffles. If A and B are respectively 

 better than C and D, then A+ B shall be better than C+D. You 

 will grant me that, Sir ?" 



" I don't know much of algebra," returned Tom. 



" But you know something about milk-punch, Sir ; and I am sure 

 that your punch last night had better milk and more brandy in it 

 than our rogue of a butler ever vouchsafed to an under-graduate in 

 his life. I am afraid that after milking my cow for your table, you 

 will hardly relish the thin stuff you have been accustomed to." 



<f Whoever could, Sir " Tom began to stammer out stiffly. 



" Gently, Sir," interrupted the good old man, his countenance sud- 

 denly assuming an expression of good-humour and kindness; "gently, 

 Sir ; you are a giddy young fellow, but too much of a gentleman to 

 be guilty of equivocation. You did milk my cow. Now, mind me 

 I don't grudge you the milk you are extremely welcome to it ; but 

 the next time you milk her, pray have more brains, or more bowels 

 about you, than to leave the poor beast hoppled up all night with your 

 neck-handkerchief ;" pulling out of his pocket, as he concluded, a 

 white cravat, marked with Tom's name in full length ! Tom had 

 tied it round the cow's legs to keep her from kicking, and (just like 

 him) had left it there. 



Tom could not lead the life he did without spending considerably 

 more than the interest of his fortune ; while his guardian-, of course, 

 allowed him something considerably less. The unavoidable conse- 

 quence was that he ran deeply into debt -as easy and pleasant a 

 course for a young man at Cambridge during his first two years, as 

 can possibly be imagined. Up to that period of his under-graduate- 

 ship, the tradesmen exhibit such a pressing, seducing servility, that 

 many a shrewder man than Tom has not the heart to refuse getting 

 into their books ; and then, like experienced anglers, they begin to 

 pull in the line. To use one of Lord Castlereagh's beautiful pleon- 

 asms, this is " as systematic a system" with them as Izaak Walton's 

 of killing a trout. For the first six terms they let him run un- 

 checked, and reserve all the reality and cruelty of the sport for the 

 last four ; now drawing upon him sharply, now giving him a little 

 more play, if he kicks at every in and out taking an ell for an inch 

 of course ; until, when landed on bachelor's bank, the poor creature 

 is utterly exhausted. In accordance with this practice, Tom found 

 at the commencement of his seventh term (i. e. of his third year) that 

 he was hooked. In other words, his obliging creditors began to dun 

 him. At first he would bluster and burst away, as if it were possible 

 to escape his tormentors by getting the length of a street from them. 

 As his sufferings were prolonged, he grew more calm and cunning. 

 Whenever at home, he would fasten himself in, and would answer 

 none but conventional appeals at the door ; but this was merely 



