34 Recollections of a Valetudinarian. [JULY, 



been as drunk as my companions, for even in more comfortable circum- 

 stances there is nothing more ridiculous or disgusting than to be the 

 only sober person in a drunken party. Some talked, some laughed, 

 some swore, and others actually wallowed in the mud and mire. I thought 

 the morning would never dawn, and when it was light enough to see each 

 other, I never saw such a sight as we presented to all beholders ; for even 

 the little boys came to peep at us through the bars. It was a bitter 

 cold winter's morning as our conductors paraded us through the streets, 

 one by one, sickly pale, and miserable, without allowing us to remove 

 any of the effects of our drunken conflict or late habitation. They seemed 

 to take great pleasure in making us go the longest way to the justice's 

 house, amidst the shouts and hisses of the mob. At last we arrived, and 

 our examination was soon over ; the watchman appeared against us, 

 a most woful figure, all over blood, plasters, and bandages, to cover 

 wounds that did not exist. He was assisted by a " man of the faculty," 

 as he called himself, and a man of law, who demanded most enormous 

 damages. The justice, who, I suppose, was well acquainted with the 

 case of " Midshipmen versus Watchmen," did not seem inclined to be 

 severe upon us, but merely bound us over to keep the peace, and fined 

 us in all fifteen pounds, to cure the watchman, who really was much 

 maimed. He then dismissed us with a gentle admonition, recommending 

 us to make use of the pump in his yard, and to go out by the back 

 door, that we might avoid being insulted by the mob. We slunk away 

 to the water's side, and got on board our ship in the best way we could, 

 where of course we were laughed at by our companions, and repri- x 

 manded by the commanding officer, besides having to make up the 

 fifteen pounds, which caused a serious defalcation in our pocket money. 

 I believe this adventure tended more to cure me of any liking I might 

 have had to the bottle than many sermons would have done, for if I 

 live to the age of Methusalem I shall never forget the clink at Chatham. 



It is proverbial that " sailors earn their money like horses, and spend 

 it like asses ;" but scarcely any one who has not seen a pay-day on board 

 a man-of-war can have any idea of the childishness and folly of their 

 expenditure. I had an opportunity of being convinced of this fact a 

 few days before we sailed ; and if it were not for the salutary regulations 

 that oblige* them to give a part of their pay to their wives, parents, 

 or other relations, it would all fall into the hands of Jews and prostitutes. 

 Lord Byron has declared that " avarice is the vice of old age ;" I do not 

 think it is the vice of the navy at any age, and although our profession 

 has produced many heroes, it has not made many " millionaires" since 

 the time of the galleons. Indeed there are few examples of naval officers 

 making fortunes in the service. Some make a little money after they 

 become captains, but they generally are obliged, or fancy themselves 

 obliged, to spend it. 



Our people having in some way or other got rid of their super- 

 abundance of cash, for sailors are good for nothing unless they are 

 poor, at least Lord St. Vincent must have thought so when he said in the 

 House of Lords, " keep them poor, and they'll serve you," we proceeded 

 to Plymouth to take in the remainder of our stores, and in a few days 

 we sailed for the Mediterranean. This was in the year 1810, or there- 

 abouts. 



* This alludes to " tickets of allotments ;" but there is nothing compulsatory in 

 arrangements at the pay-table, by which seamen may forward a part of their pay to their 

 family and friends, EDITOH. 



