1830.] Father Murphy's Dream. 431 



I needn't tell you what strange places we went through. It isn't for* 

 you to be losing your senses, thinking of green fields, where every 

 daisy was a two-and-sixpenny bit, and the cowslips were all gold guineas. 

 It isn't for such as the likes o' ye to be thrusting your dirty faces into the> 

 parlours, and the pantries, and the barns, all slated with loaf-bread, and 

 the floors all washed clean with Cork whiskey (it was so plenty in the 

 place), nor to come axing my leave to taste the shins of beef and the 

 bull turkies that were waiting to be eat up on the tables, that the angel 

 and I saw as we went along. But where do ye think we got to at last ? 

 Now I'll hold a noggin of melted butter to a farthing candle that you 

 think we went down to Tim Murphy's, to spend the day playing nine- 

 pins. There ye're out ; the angel wouldn't offer to cross the threshold 

 of the door, for fear of soiling her Spanish leather dancing-pumps that 

 she carried in her hand, in the regard that she wouldn't spoil their 

 shapes on her feet. As to nine-pins, the angels never play anything 

 but backgammon and the five-fingers ;* and it's themselves that'd give 

 you the whole pack of cards, and beat you as hollow as St. Patrick beat 

 the sea-serpent off the rock of Cashel. 



It is wonderful how murdering fast the same angels can walk. I 

 couldn't see a strin of light for the hurry I was in following her. The 

 trees, and the topazes, and the brick houses danced up and down in my 

 eyes as I whirled along after her ; not but that I often wanted to stop and 

 draw my breath, when she'd turn sudden on me, and with one whistle 

 through her little finger, bring me up again, just as if I was a grey- 

 hound, and couldn't help myself for the bare life. 



At last we came to a dark place, where there was nothing but trees, 

 and a big bank covered over with ribbed grass and potatoe-blossoms. 

 " Stop there/ 7 says she, " say nothing, but make the sign of the cross, 

 and look, and you shall see." 



Whoo ! away flew the trees and the bank, just as if they were birds, 

 and in a minute more I saw, at a great distance, two gentlemen coming 

 towards me down the lane. I thought they were gentlemen when they 

 were far off; but as they got near me, I found out that one of them was 

 Ould Nick himself, and the other was St. Peter. Sure I might have 

 known them both by the smell j for the devil smelt strong of sulphur x 

 and St. Peter had a breath coming out of his nose that was as like the 

 smell of burned turf as the steam that comes out of Mrs. Larkin's 

 whiskey-boiler. The devil was dressed, as became him, like a Peeler,t 

 with a terrible sword by his side, and a club-foot sticking up behind 

 like a bull's-horn. And may-be he hadn't a Bible under his arm, and a 

 bundle of tracts in his hand. But St. Peter, who hasn't the least pride, 

 was just dressed as I am in broadcloth, and looked for all the world 

 like a parish-priest. And a well-looking saint he is a fine, comely man 

 as you'd meet in a day's walk. I don't know any saint in the calendar 

 equal to him for manners and gentility, except St. Patrick. To be 

 sure our own patron-saint is at the top of the list. All he wants is a 

 bunch of keys to make him complete. 



Just as they were coming down upon me, as I thought, St. Peter 

 stopped suddenly, and, putting his hand on the devil's arm, cried out 



" Now, if you please, we'll just talk that little matter over that we 



* A popular game of cards amongst the Irish, known also by the name of Five and ten. 

 -f- A policeman. 



