MISADVENTURES OF A LOVER. 27 



ably affable and of easy access. Though the attribute of beauty had 

 hitherto appeared to my mind as an essential ingredient in the cup 

 of matrimonial bliss, I never thought the worse of any young lady be- 

 cause she had money. Indeed, as hinted in Chapter I., I had been so 

 far lessoned in days that were past, as to the value of money, that I 

 deemed a certain quantity of the circulating medium of paramount 

 importance in journeying through life. On both accounts, therefore, 

 I was most anxious to see the baronet's daughter, determined, in the 

 event of my opinion according with the public report of her attrac- 

 tions, &c., to have a meeting with her by some means or other. I had 

 read the week before "a full, true, and particular account" of the 

 stratagems by which Edward Gibbon Wakefield contrived to get 

 married to Miss Turner, and by which he gained an inestimable 

 prize. (There was no word then of the prosecution and punishment 

 which followed.) I meditated something of the same kind. In or- 

 der, however, that there might be no hazard of being gulled touching 

 her personal charms and prospective finances, I thought it best, be- 

 fore decoying her into a carriage, to have the evidence of my eyes 

 its to the first point, and make under-hand enquiries as to the second. 

 I knew there was no person in the inn who was acquainted with me. 

 I therefore concluded I might without the least risk of detection as- 

 sume any title, and play off any airs I pleased. Accordingly, I hired 

 a horse and gig*, and procured a confidential acquaintance, moving in 

 a rather humbler sphere than myself, to whom I revealed my plans 

 and views. He pronounced them " excellent,'' " spirited," and so 

 forth, and at once agreed to personate the character of my body-ser- 

 vant. I took to myself the high-sounding title of Lord A , think- 

 ing I would by that means have a greater chance of attracting the 

 attention of the baronet's daughter. My servant and I entered the 

 gig, which I drove with the spirit characteristic of the majority of 

 young noblemen. In due time we arrived at the destined inn. We 

 alighted my servant first, who with infinite tact handed me down. 

 I entered the inn, announcing my name as Lord A . The intel- 

 ligence that a nobleman had arrived spread through the house like 

 wild-fire. Bows, curtsies, and every mark of obsequious respect 

 were showered on me at every step. My servant once committed 

 himself, and was likely to have committed me, by saying "Eh !" in- 

 stead of " my lord." " Sirrah," said I, as there were several persons 

 present, " I will teach you manners;" and so saying, I applied my 

 cane with considerable apparent force to his person, but in reality 

 very gently. He submitted to the physical correction with perfect 

 equanimity, saying, with a tact which exceeds all praise, " I beg 

 your pardon, my Lord." 



I had not been many minutes upstairs when I learned that the 

 heiress was " out" seeing some of the beautiful scenery with which 

 the district abounds ; but she was expected to return in a few hours. 

 Lest our incognito should be discovered by some officious chance- 

 person putting up at the inn, who knew me, I thought it advisable, 

 instead -of vegetating in the hotel, to go out an airing. I immedi- 

 ately commanded the hostler to get my horse and gig ready. The 

 order was no sooner given than obeyed. In a second, self and ser- 



