ON THE COMPARATIVE HAPPINESS OF THE SEXEST. 57 



trust he reposes in such acquaintance so often betrayed as in the case 

 of the other sex. In the article of victualling or banquetting, again, 

 it is not necessary that he should subject himself to restraint, provided 

 he be not a glutton altogether. The demands of nature and the 

 views of propriety established in society are in this case, in so far 

 as he is concerned, precisely the same. And as it respects drinking 

 to use the term in most common parlance it is scarcely looked on 

 as dishonourable in man, however great may be the devotedness 

 witlTwhich he does homage to the bottle. Nay, the man who gets 

 thoroughly inebriated six if not seven times a week, can hold up his 

 head such are the absurd rules and regulations on the subject of 

 morals and manners among us as boldly and unblushingly as he 

 who never in this regard allowed his " reason to be taken prisoner/' 



There is another most fruitful source of infelicity to females, 

 whether single or married, but particularly in the former case, 

 namely, in the prevalence of calumny among them. Although it be 

 a failing, to characterise it by no harsher name, in almost every fe- 

 male to indulge occasionally in sly insinuations, and sometimes to 

 make unequivocal averments respecting the conduct of her acquaint- 

 ances, all of them are most sensitively alive to any such remarks 

 when made on themselves. Every one, in short, who knows any 

 thing of the history of women, must be aware that, to use a homely 

 but expressive phrase, they are almost constantly in a state of "hot 

 water" in consequence of these derogatory remarks in perpetual 

 circulation among them. 



Men, in this regard, also enjoy a great advantage over the sex. 

 It is seldom indeed, speaking comparatively, that they deal to any 

 extent in scandal; nor do those of them in respect to whom deroga- 

 tory observations are made feel an equally keen sensibility with wo- 

 men to such observations. 



There is nothing more generally taken for granted by those who 

 look only at the superficies of things, than that unmarried females de- 

 rive much happiness from their dress. This is a grievous mistake. 

 Notwithstanding the intense interest they obviously feel in every 

 thing that relates to apparel, and the many hours they spend at the 

 toilette, none of themselves who have any regard to the truth will 

 pretend that their dress, on the whole, is a source of felicity to them. 

 It does, on the contrary, in most cases essentially contribute towards 

 the embittering of their existence. The most trivial disarrangement 

 in their dress is of itself sufficient to neutralise all the pleasures of 

 the ball-room or the party. 



Our sex pay comparatively little attention to the apparelling of 

 themselves, and consequently are proportionally less liable to be an- 

 noyed by any disconcertion of their attire. Add to which that from 

 the very form and nature of their dress it is infinitely less susceptible 

 of being soiled or disarranged. 



But it is more especially in " affairs of the heart" that man has the 

 advantage over the other sex. The tender passion, it is acknowledged 

 on all hands, finds a much more congenial soil in the breast of woman 

 than in that of man. From the time indeed at which she has attained 

 the middle of her teens until she has reached the unfortunate side 



