236 HALF HOURS. 



line in half an hour of the various regions he travelled over in 

 description, whilst I was standing mute and stock still (having risen 

 at his entrance in compliment to the Reverend , ^arid continu- 

 ing the same posture through an instinctive adoption" of a certain 

 well-known ruse of courtesy, which precludes offence by putting you 

 on a footing with the visitor you do not incline to seat yourself beside). 

 General philanthropy had alone prompted him to undertake the 

 arduous campaign in " regions of moral darkness/' of which part of 

 his rapid narration gave me an account, and whence he had recently 

 returned : and he was anxious to go forth again " under the same 

 banner." But it came out in the sequel that the general's troops 

 were not so well paid as might have been expected. For after 

 having laid claim to the highest honours adjudged to conquerors in 

 the Christian warfare, detailed the judicious arrangements he had 

 made towards re-organizing the church militant in America, profess- 

 ed an apostle's zeal and a martyr's constancy, and, in short, pa- 

 noramed the world before me in the enumeration of his various 

 " grasp of intellect" exploits, performed and projected, my high- 

 sounding orator concluded with requesting me to buy his book, price 

 six shillings. I looked at the table of contents. The first article was 

 " True Religion Defined and Simplified." The second, " On In- 

 discreet Zeal." The third was entitled " Dumb Dogs." The fourth, 

 " A Geographical Survey of the Millennial Kingdom." But here I 

 must stop. I would not by proceeding hazard the possibility of 

 ministering to their licentiousness who dare to speak or think lightly 

 concerning holy mysteries. I had seen and heard enough, however, 

 for the prudent guardianship of my purse and patronage; and I 

 returned the volume to the owner, saying that I never purchased 

 books, especially on religious topics, unless they were recommended 

 by my knowledge of the writer. Here an equivoque escaped on my 

 part which would have made his ears tingle had they been capable 

 of tingling, and he under any apprehension of its being intentional. 

 " Have you read my title page ?" enquired he briskly. ' You will 

 there see a name, Sir, tolerably well accredited in the world of letters. 

 I might have had professorships as I have had prizes, both in foreign 

 and in native universities, in logic, in metaphysics, in mathematics. 

 But I have renounced all worldly honours that might limit my sphere 

 of usefulness! A taste for travel, and a facility in acquiring languages, 

 co-operate with my ardent love of mankind, and the diffusion of light 

 and truth amongst the benighted nations is the glorious object of my 

 loftiest ambition, and which far outweighs any considerations that are 

 merely personal. But travel cannot be prosecuted without expenses. 

 While we are in the body the sustenance of this corporeal frame must 

 be cared for, and the labourer is worthy of his hire. The pecuniary 

 profits of this little book are destined to a purpose commensurate 

 with the importance of its contents. They are intended to equip me 

 for another journey in the same cause. To a gentleman of your 

 condition and benevolent aspect, the price can be but of small 

 consideration, and without dispute the things therein contained are 

 worth its weight in purest gold, a thousand times computed." The 

 Dominie's attenuated longitude and wan visage contrasted wofully 



