164 MIS ADVENTUKES OF A LOVER 



" MY DEAR SIR Though as yet personally unknown to you, I 

 hope I am justified I am sure my own feeling's justify me in using 

 the above affectionate epithet. I have read your intimation in the 

 Herald of this morning ; and never, I assure you, did human com- 

 position make such an impression on my mind: it went directly to 

 my heart, from which I know it will never depart. My dearest 

 unknown, but I trust destined husband, believe me when I say that 

 your advertisement has led me to conceive of you as the beau ideal 

 of all that a lover or husband should be. Words cahnot express my 

 admiration of your generosity and disinterestedness. You speak not, 

 you give not the most distant hint of a love of money. How unlike 

 the infinite majority of those who advertise for wives! But though 

 money seems to be no object with you, I hope it will prove no ob- 

 jection, other matters being to your mind. I have a handsome 

 competency solely at my own disposal ; for indeed I have no near 

 relatives in Europe to interfere, either directly or indirectly, with me 

 or mine. My fortune shall be the more readily laid at your feet, 

 that it is moral worth and not sordid pelf of which you are in quest. 

 Of my personal appearance I will not speak, further than to express 

 a hope, that it will not be offensive. My age, not being matter of 

 opinion but fact, I may mention is' twenty. I am morally certain, 

 from the spirit that manifestly prompted your advertisement, that 

 our dispositions are similar; and that, as far as human eye can see, 

 our union, if it be effected, which I hope and pray it will, will prove 

 one of unusual happiness to both. May I, my dear Sir, have the 

 felicity of an interview? If vouchsafed to me, be so kind as to vmte 

 me immediately, when I will appoint such time and place for our 

 meeting as will be most likely to secure us against the intrusion of 

 any third party. Waiting with breathless anxiety your answer, I 

 remain, my dear Sir, 



Yours most affectionately, 



C. D. 



< p. 5. Please direct C. D., 27, Paul's Street, Tottenham Court 

 Road." 



j was w ho in my situation would not have been ? in raptures 

 with this letter. It was just the thing : there was intellect in it ; 

 there was judgment in it ; there was affection in it. There was 

 something else in it; between you arid f, "gentle reader, there was 

 money in it. It is needless to say I liked it none the worse on that 

 account. Philosophers and divines may declaim as much as they 

 please against the vanity and worthlessness of money; abstractly 

 speaking, I admit the circulating medium is despicable enough ; but 

 though this be true, and though, I hope, I am the last man in the 

 world that would. do any dishonourable action to gain money, yet it 

 is not to be denied 'that it is a remarkably useful commodity. It is 

 a necessary evil. It smooths the rugged path of life : it enables a 

 man to walk more consequentially and erectly than he could other- 

 wise do ; it works miracles. 



Shall I open and peruse any more of the mountain of epistles 

 lying before me in beautiful chaos ? I asked myself this question. I 

 hesitated a moment as to whether I ought to open more of the A. B. 



