342 THE MAN OF TWO LIVES. 



will soon be over come come," and, taking a pinch of snuff, the 

 doctor made two strides towards the bed. 



Singe had already clenched his right fist courageously, and, upon 

 this movement on the part of Slash, was just on the point of dealing 

 a blow, aggravated by terror a blow which might have annihilated 

 that pursy individual, when the alarmed wife darted forward, and 

 drew him from the bed by the skirts of his coat. 



" You shall not, you must not do it," she exclaimed. " My poor 

 husband always made me swear" (here Singe nodded approvingly) 

 " that nothing of that sort should be attempted upon his person. In- 

 deed, indeed, I cannot permit it." 



" Well, madam,' 1 cried Slash, in dudgeon, packing up his instru- 

 ments, " I thought you a woman of more sense. We did think of 

 raising a handsome subscription for you, but now good night, Mrs. 

 Singe ;" and the doctor turned, and abruptly left the house. 



The extent of relief caused to the barber by this hasty retreat of 

 Slash cannot be described. Big drops of perspiration had rolled 

 down his cheeks, making deep furrows in the gum with which he 

 had overlaid his physiognomy, and, when his wife again came into his 

 presence, that rueful exhibition was well calculated to shake nerves of 

 more firmness than that worthy woman could boast of. 



All that night, as on the night previously, Singe in vain courted the 

 soothing influence of sleep, and with heavy heart he arose in the 

 morning to complete the artificial man with whose interment his hate- 

 ful first experiment in duplicity was to end. 



But this last day gave tokens of commencing prosperously. Mrs. 

 Singe had gone forth early, and had apprised the neighbourhood of 

 her husband's decease, and the Benefit Society to which he belonged 

 lost not a moment in sending a Patagonian coffin a misfit of the 

 stoutest inhabitant of the town, recently dead, and Mr. Pall and his 

 assistant Grisly were to come with all things needful in the after- 

 noon and conclude the mournful ceremony. 



" Be sure you don't let Pall and Grisly touch me," cried Singe, as 

 the time approached for the arrival of those gentlemen, and he raised 

 his finger as in warning. u They must not even see me. Tell them 

 that you insist upon performing the last offices for your husband your- 

 self. Why, see, I am but a light weight, and a strong woman like 

 you might easily lay me in that box. I say, wife, I should look like 

 a flea in Hyde Park stuck in that cupboard, shouldn't I ?" 



" Well, but you must get into the coffin," urged his wife, " in case 

 they should draw the lid aside to take a last look at you. But, be- 

 fore they screw it down, I'll call them below to take a drop of spi- 

 rits ; then you can steal softly out, get the wig-block from under the 

 bed, and place it in your stead, and then you can take the place of the 

 wig-block under the bed." 



" Ha ! ha ! a good idea," cried the barber ; " two heads are better 

 than one. It shall be so. But what now ?" he continued, in a rage, 

 as a knock at the door intruded upon his ear. "It isn't time for the un- 

 dertaker yet. Go down, Mrs. Singe, and tell my friends, whoever 

 they are, that I can't and won't be seen." 



" Only think," said the wife,who returned presently, bearing a bas- 



