44 Life in the West. [JAN- 



into a house where play is going forward : the fear lest such a spectre 

 should alarm the wealthy pigeons, commonly making him " removable " 

 almost upon any terms. For example. 



While this [Very high play^] was going on up stairs [[at Crockford's^j a con- 

 siderable disturbance was taking place below. 



t: I tell you/' said the porter, " Mr. Crockford don't come here now." 



" I know he does," said a squalid and emaciated being, shabby-genteelly 

 dressed. 



" I say he does not," said the porter, <e and if you do not go away, I will 

 give you in charge of the watch." 



" Do, if you dare," said the unfortunate gentleman. 



" Oh ! you shall soon see that," said the two porters, at the same time 

 thrusting the ruined man through the passage. 



" Now what is it you want?" said one of the waiters in private clothes, 

 coming from one of the coffee-rooms, upon hearing the scuffle. 



<f I am Major ," said the gentleman, " and " 



" Ah ! ah J ah! ah ! yes, that is Major ," interrupted the porters. 



" Don't insult the Major," said the waiter, " shut the door, and leave him 

 to me. Now, major, tell me what it is you want ?" 



" I am ruined by play," said the poor major. " I lost to Mr. Crockford's 

 bank, at No. 5, King Street, full five thousand pounds. I am in great dis- 

 tress. I wrote to Mr. Crockford to lend me two pounds, and I left the letter 

 myself. I stated, I should call to-night at ten o'clock for an answer. I have 

 been here half a dozen times, and I meet with nothing but indignity and 

 insult. I will not put up with it. 



" I will speak to Mr. Crockford to-morrow, upon the subject, he cannot be 

 disturbed now." said the waiter. " Go away quietly, that's a good man." 



" I must and will have an answer to night," said the major, "for I have 

 no bed to go to." 



" Well," said the waiter, " if you will go away and make no more noise, I 

 will give you five shillings out of my own pocket." 



The major's distress was so pressing, that he accepted the money, and went 

 away, saying he would call again to-morrow. 



Other desperate people have recourse to stratagem. On one occasion, 

 a ruined man who is shut out by special order, contrives to get into a 

 " Hell " before the hours of play commence, and the bankers, on arriving, 

 are horror-struck to find the " excluded " seated at the head of the table. 



The hellites, one by one, arrived soon after ; they exhibited the greatest 

 confusion and dismay at seeing the excluded seated at the play table. " How 

 'do you do, gentlemen?" said the excluded. " I hope you're well, Sir," said 

 the hellites. " I've come to lose a few hundreds, as formerly/' said the 

 excluded. (( We are very glad to see you, Sir," said one hellite : " You 

 know we don't wish you to come here," said a second: " Pray what is it 

 you want? ' said a third. " Why the fact is," said the excluded, " I am in 



great distress ; I asked Mr. to lend me two pounds, and he would not 



listen to me. Finding I was not attended to in the street, I determined to 

 see if I could meet with better success in the house, and here I am." " Send 

 for an officer," cried one or two voices. " That is the very thing I wish to 

 be done," exclaimed the excluded, taking a seat quietly at the play table. 

 Finding the threat of an officer had no weight, "now tell us," said the tliirdt 

 hellite, " what is it you want." " Why, ten pounds/' rejoined the excluded. 

 " Will you go away if they are given to you ?" added the third hellite : " I 

 will," promised the excluded. The ten pounds were then advanced. The 

 sum was extorted from their fears. They were not only afraid of being 

 indicted, but of losing a morning's play, if any disturbance had arisen, a 

 thing of much more consequence. Ten pounds was but a drop in the ocean 

 compared to it. 



