1828.] 



Domestic and Foreign. 



81 



Scotchman had begun by blacking shoes, 

 and ended by rolling in carriages. The poet, 

 however, wishes to tread the path of glory, 

 and not of labour. Luckily he gets an intro- 

 duction to a player, who advises him to return 

 to the country, and write a new play a mere 

 nothing, in the opinion of both parties. This 

 advice he follows, and quickly despatches his 

 new production to his new friend, who by 

 this time, short as it was, was himself in want 

 of a "sityvation." After some desponding, 

 and beating up the clergy of the neighbour- 

 hood, as persons pre-eminently and by pre- 

 scription critics and patrons, he gets into an 

 attorney's office, from which he is quickly 

 ejected, not, he says, for neglecting his duties, 

 though charged with that also, but for playing 

 the go-between to his master's daughter and 

 her suitor, which he did entirely out of 

 sympathy with the romantic. After another 

 plunge or two all the while scribbling un- 

 ceasingly he takes to the boards, and joining 

 a strolling company, tramps the country over, 

 North and South, East and West changing 

 his corps from time to time, till by-and-by 

 he falls in love with a heroine of the company, 

 and is jilted, and by-and-by again, he falls in 

 love again, and this time marries withdraws 

 domesticates, and sets up a school. This, 

 of course, does not answer, but in the mean- 

 while, he had got one of his Epics in print, 

 and he now leaves the school to his wife, and 

 himself sets oat and perambulates the West 

 and the South with a packet of his books, 

 and contrives to sell a considerable number of 

 copies as many as half a dozen, 'in some 

 towns unusually stocked with blues. This re- 

 source also must of course have an end, and the 

 theatre is tried again with the same success as 

 before and abandoned as before. He returns 

 to his cottage, writes for a newspaper, is 

 cheated by the proprietor ; but, by dint of 

 hard begging, gets a new list of subscribers, 

 and on the strength of the list works up a new 

 Epic, and finds a new publisher. The story 

 ends as it began leaving this miserable vic- 

 tim of " Genius " a prey to perpetual uncer- 

 tainty, discontent, and poverty. Surely 

 hedging and ditching must be preferable to 

 such a life as this. 



Thus much for the life but the volumes 

 are interspersed not only with poetry, but 

 with a good deal of antiquarian lore, referrable 

 to British and Roman remains his vagabond 

 life brought him into the neighbourhood of 

 all the more important relics of the southern 

 half of the country. In his discussions on 

 these topics, there is more sound judgment as 

 to inference, than could have been antici- 

 pated ; but the whole is exhibited in a taudry 

 style of declamation, that smacks of Ossian, 

 and If ervey's Meditations. 



In the course of the narrative, we met with 

 some account of Webb, the philanthropist 

 whom the author encountered at Chichester, 

 and of whom he went in pursuit, in the hope, 

 of course, of picking up a subscription. 



On my arrival (says he) at Christchurch, I 



M.M. New Series. Vol.. V. No. 25. 



found that a company of comedians was there; 

 and that he nightly tilled, to their great emolu- 

 ment, the gallery, pit, and boxes, with all 

 the rabble of the town, to the disgust of all 

 the respectable families in the neighbourhood. 

 I found, too, that it was his glory to be fol- 

 lowed through the streets by a shouting gang 

 of ragged boys and girls ; that he would seize 

 the loaves in the baskets of the baker-boys as 

 they passed, and roll them in the canal, and 

 then exultingly pay more than their actual 

 price for them. 



He one day saw a chimney-sweeper go by, 

 with a bag of soot on his back. I should 

 like to see how he would look when well 

 cleaned, said this discriminating dispenser of 

 charity. Call sooty in, and let the cook and 

 scullion scour and scrub him well, and take 

 care they don't spare soap. Get a handsome 

 suit of new clothes, and when he is dressed, 

 let him be brought to me in the parlour. 

 After going through the process of a good 

 scouring, the knight of the chimney was ush- 

 ered, with all due ceremony, into the parlour, 

 and his warm-hearted patron was highly de- 

 lighted with his new protege, and he instantly 

 inquired if he was fond of tarts. O yes, said 

 sweepy, I should terribly like to have my belly 

 chuck-full o'them there nice things. The 

 poor delighted fellow was instantly taken to 

 a pastry-cook's, and crammed with as many 

 sweets and delicacies as he could well swallow. 

 From thence, Webb squired him to a silver- 

 smith's, gave him a handsome watch, and 

 then sent him adrift. 



On one occasion he went into a shop, and 

 purchased a fiddle and music-book. Then 

 getting two boys, between whom he shared a 

 certain portion of his bounty, he made one 

 cany before him the violin, and the other 

 the music. The boy fell to scratching the 

 now tormented strings, till they squeaked 

 sounds horribly discordant. Marching ay 

 solemnly as a strolling actor in Alexander, on 

 his first entrance on the stage of a bam, to 

 the river side ; the man of philanthropy seized 

 the instrument and book, and flung them 

 bwth into the water. He then ordered the 

 boys to plunge in after them, which they 

 stoutly refused ; and running off, left him to 

 contemplate the movements of the fiddle 

 sailing leisurely down the stream. 



Another time, he met two country bump- 

 kins fresh from the plough-tail, whom he also 

 took to a pastry-cook's, to see how many 

 jellies and cheese-cakes they could possibly 

 devour. When they had cleared the shop, 

 and gormandized almost to suffocation, he 

 generously dismissed them with a pound note 

 each, as much delighted with the entertain- 

 ment they had given him, as the fellows could 

 possibly be with the novel and highly relished 

 treat which they had just received. These 

 were some of the thousand absurd tricks of 

 the same ridiculous kind, which I was informed 

 he is continually committing. 



Poor Mr. P had very ill luck for the 

 philanthropist would neither look at his letters 



31 



