1828.] Ups and Downs of London. 487 



.Try the strength of the penal code, and " tip the Charley to a hush," 

 and you may make 



" Hair-breadth 'scapes i' the imminent deadly breach." 

 Run in debt to your tailor, and you have every chance 



" Of being taken by the insolent foe, 

 And sold to slavery." 



Join the " rulers" of the land ; and, after a little more than 

 " The moon and half, that Nature makes a hare in," 

 you may make sure 



" Of your redemption thence ;" 



and, if you do all these things, and do them well, you may have no 

 small cause to boast of 



(( The 'portance of your travel's history." 



And, then, though enjoyment were twenty Desdemonas, and you should 

 come out as black as fifty Othellos, the deuce is in it if you do not win 

 her ; and if you smother her with the bolster for the wheedling of any 

 Jago, either of care or compunction, why you are ten times more of a 

 ninny than the huffy Moor, and ought at once to drown yourself, like a 

 rat or a puppy. 



Be but in a condition to command, and a mood to enjoy, and the ser- 

 vices of a whole million of people are at your beck and welcome. Ran- 

 sack your memory, rack your invention, for an object with which 

 to be gratified, and it is only 



<e Cupito ut habes et habes." 



Yes I say, course over every land ; sail over every sea ; be frozen 

 with Parry, roasted with Clapperton, or, more dreadful than all, 

 " eaten by fleas at Stony Stratford ;" be a traveller who has more glory 

 than name; go up in balloons down in diving-bells; fly over the 

 Alps, or tunnel it under the Atlantic; why, what do you get by 

 that ? Pain sheer, unmingled pain without an atom of pleasure ; and 

 if you are a wise man, and your pulse, as that of every man really wise 

 should do, beats to the tune of " Carpe diem," you had better take the 

 counsel which that sage Ulysses, Sheridan, gave to his son, when he was 

 to descend the coal-pit just for the sake of saying that he had been there 

 " Say that you have been there, Tom; but stay here, and enjoy 

 yourself." 



You have the choice of a million of human beings for your company, 

 and ten thousand millions of things for your possession ; and so there 

 can be no satiation or ennui, though you should live to the age of Methu- 

 saleh, and be every day as fickle as the wind. No matter for your rank, 

 your talents, your education, or your habits. Be you saint or sinner, 

 sage or sot hold you this opinion, that opinion, or no opinion at all 

 your place and your counterpart are both in London ; arid the beauty 

 of all is, that, grant but the one postulate give the one thing " need- 

 ful" and nobody will dare, or even try, to elbow you out of your place. 

 Name but the name of that which you would call government ; the 

 world is at your feet, and all its inhabitants are your slaves. It is impos- 

 sible, however, to mention all the elements of this enjoyment, or to 

 name the states and forms in which it is found. If you would throw 

 the whole of human happiness and enjoyment, the encyclopaedia of 



