16 PASSAGE IN THE LIFE OF MR. WATKINS TOTTLE 



at the bottom of the street, instead of dropping into his parlour. 

 The fortnight was nearly up, and Watkins was hard up. 



" How is Mrs. Gabriel Parsons?" inquired Tottle. 



" Quite well, thank you," replied Mr. Gabriel Parsons, for that 

 was the name the short gentleman revelled in. Here there was a 

 pause ; the short gentleman looked at the left hob of the fire-place, 

 and Mr. Watkins Tottle stared vacancy out of countenance. 



" Quite well," repeated the short gentleman when five minutes had 

 expired. " I may say remarkably well," and he rubbed the palms 

 of his hands together as hard as if he were going to strike a light by 

 friction. 



" What will you take?" inquired Tottle, with the desperate sud- 

 denness of a man who knew that unless the visitor took his leave he 

 stood very little chance of taking any thing else. 



" Oh, I don't know. Have you any whiskey ?" 



" Why/' replied Tottle very slowly, for all this was gaining time, 

 " I had some capital, and remarkably strong whiskey last week ; but 

 it's all gone and, therefore, its strength " 



" Is much beyond proof; or, in other words, impossible to be 

 proved, " said the short gentleman ; and he laughed very heartily, 

 and seemed quite glad the whiskey had been drank. Mr. Tottle 

 smiled but it was the smile of despair. When Mr. Gabriel Parsons 

 had done laughing, he delicately insinuated that, in the absence of 

 whiskey, he would not be averse to brandy. And Mr. Watkins 

 Tottle, lighting a flat candle very ostentatiously, and displaying an 

 immense key, which belonged to the street door but which, for the 

 sake of appearances, occasionally did duty in an imaginary wine- 

 cellar, left the room to intreat his landlady to charge their glasses, 

 and charge them in the bill. The application was successful the 

 spirits were speedily called ; not from " the vasty deep," but the ad- 

 jacent wine-vaults. The two short gentlemen mixed their grog ; and 

 then sat cosily down before the fire a pair of shorts, airing them- 

 selves. 



" Tottle," said Mr. Gabriel Parsons, " you know my way off- 

 hand, open, say what I mean, and mean what I say, damn reserve, 

 and can't bear affectation. One is a bad domino which only hides 

 what good-people have about J em, without making the bad look 

 better ; and the other is much about the same thing as pinking a 

 white cotton stocking to make it look like a silk one. Now, listen 

 to what I'm going to say." 



Here the little gentlemen paused, and took a long pull at his 

 brandy-and-water. Mr. Watkins Tottle took a sip of his, stirred the 

 fire, and assumed an air of profound attention. 



" It's no use humming and ha'ing about the matter," resumed the 

 short gentleman. " You want to get married- don't you?" 



" Why" replied Mr. Watkins Tottle, evasively ; for he trembled 

 violently, and felt a sudden tingling throughout his whole frame 

 "why I should certainly at least, I think I should like it." 



"Won't do," said the short gentleman. "Plain and free or 

 there's an end of the matter. Do you want money ?" 



" You know I do." 



