18 PASSAGE IN THE LIFE OF MR. WATKINS TOTTLE. 



shouldn't wonder. However, you'll be all right in this case ; for 

 the strictness and delicacy of this lady's ideas, greatly exceed your 

 own. Lord bless you, why when she came to our house, there was 

 an old portrait of some man or other, with two large black staring- 

 eyes, hanging up in her bed-room ; she positively refused to go to 

 bed there till it was taken down, considering it decidedly improper." 



" I think so too," said Mr. Watkins Tottle; " certainly." 



" And then the other night never laughed so much in my life," 

 resumed Mr. Gabriel Parsons; " I had driven home in a strong 

 easterly wind, and caught a devil of a face-ache. Well ; as Fanny 

 that's Mrs. Parsons, you know and this friend of hers, and I, 

 and Frank Ross, were playing a rubber, I said, jokingly, that when 

 I went to bed I should wrap my head up in Fanny's flannel petticoat. 

 She instantly threw up her cards and left the room." 



" Quite right," said Mr. Watkins Tottle, " she couldn't possibly 

 have behaved in a more dignified manner. What did you do ?" 



" Do ? Frank took dummy ; and I won sixpence." 



" But didn't you apologize for hurting her feelings ?" 



" Devil a bit. Next morning at breakfast we talked it over. She 

 contended that any reference to a flannel petticoat was highly im- 

 proper ; men ought not to be supposed to know that such things 

 were. I pleaded my coverture ; being a married man." 



" And what did the lady say to that ?" enquired Tottle; deeply 

 interested. 



" Changed her ground, and said that Frank being a single man, 

 its impropriety was obvious." 



" Noble-minded creature !" exclaimed the enraptured Tottle. 



" Oh ! both Fanny and I, said at once, that she was regularly cut 

 out for you." 



A gleam of placid satisfaction shone on the circular face of Mr. 

 Watkins Tottle, as he heard the prophecy. 



" There's one thing I can't understand," said Mr. Gabriel Parsons, 

 as he rose to depart, " I cannot for the life and soul of me, imagine 

 how the deuce you'll ever manage to come together. The lady 

 would certainly go into convulsions if the subject were mentioned." 

 And Mr. Gabriel Parsons sat down again, and laughed till he was 

 weak. Tottle owed him money : so he had a perfect right to laugh 

 at his expense. 



Mr. Watkins Tottle, feared in his own mind, that this was another 

 characteristic which he had in common with this modern Lucretia. 

 He, however, accepted the invitation to dine with the Parsons' on 

 the next day but one, with great firmness ; and looked forward to 

 the introduction, when again left alone, with tolerable composure. 



The sun that rose on the next day but one, had never beheld a 

 sprucer personage on the outside of the Norwood-stage than Mr. 

 Watkins Tottle, and when the coach drew up before a cardboard- 

 looking house with disguised chimnies, and a lawn like a large sheet 

 of green letter paper, he certainly had never lighted to his place of 

 destination a gentleman who felt more awkward or uncomfortable. 



The coach stopped and Mr. Watkins Tottle jumped we beg his 

 pardon alighted with great dignity. u All right !" said he, and away 



