QUARTER SESSIONS. 



the Town Hall to morrow, when a " Justice Day" will be holden, as 

 Sir Charles hez cymed. By order of 



" Gods Save George Jerroms. 



" The King Constable." 



The long-looked for day had now arrived, arid Sir Charles entered 

 the justice-room, looking any thing but pleasant. The first object 

 that caught his worship's eye, was the town-clerk, nearly hidden by 

 law-books of reference, and mending his pens. 



"I hope your worship's very well after your journey/' said the 

 constable, bowing and eddying up to the justice." 



<( Well ? hey, that letter of your's would make the devil well ; let's 

 begin what's the first?" 



" Mary Kitchen, your worship a case of filliation." 



" Odds zound ! what one of my own servants. How the devil 

 come you to be in this scrape, Mary ?'' 



" Your worship knows best," simpers Mary, curtseying. 



" I know best ! what do you mean, madam? speak !" 



" I nobert means as your worship's father on't." 



" Blood and thunder ! Jerroms break her neck down stairs ! 

 Hussey ! sauce-box ! cat ! she-devil ! Jerroms why don't you 

 kick her out ?" 



"Your worship called me pretty Mary afore!" said the frighted 

 damsel. 



" Take her away, I insist a baggage !" Then he whispered aside 

 to Jerroms, " put her into a private room until business is over." 



" Ha ! ha ! ha !" was heard from every side, as the magistrate stood 

 looking at the window, as if he would leap through one of the panes. 

 Then turning to them, he exclaimed 



" The first man that I find who believes what yon trollop has said 

 against my character, I'll commit him for seven years !" 



" Wew !" " We can think !" " Make Jerroms go halves !" 

 '" Get some of old Joe's lotion !" and sundry other witticisms were 

 muttered. 



" Silence, sirrahs ! what case stands next?" 



" Stevenson against Trevor and Hardcastle." 



" State it quick !" 



" Your worship 'ell be pleased to no that these two hed one of their 

 regular stands under my window for five hours, till I thought as they 

 were niver going to move on no more ; so I orders my man to throw 

 a bucket of water on 'em : well, an* what does they do but acts on, 

 and breaks my window all to atoms, your worship, instead o' laying 

 on one another we their sticks, as they mostly do." 



" Oh ! humph !" ejaculated the justice, "and what amount of da- 

 mages have they done ?" 



" The glazier says it ell cost two pouuds, your worship, to make 

 the panes good." 



" Two pound oh ! What have you two old men to say for your 

 conduct ? Did I not decide, the last time, that whichever had the 

 right hand of the wall, the other should give it up, as a matter of 

 right ?" 



" But your honour must first tell us which is the right-hand, be- 

 cause when we see one another coming, we both set our backs to the 



