THE MATERIALIST. 469 



extricable maze into which this led me, the absurd theories which 

 were opened, the strange and extravagant doctrines which sprung 

 up on every side for a time deeply absorbed me. Many of these 

 were in unison with my own wayward and ungovernable fancies ; 

 and the sad truth was soon apparent, that in confused and often 

 unintelligible accounts of the human soul, I convinced myself that 

 there was nothing deserving the name that man had passions, 

 desires, instincts, as part of his material organization but that as a 

 separate, self-existent, and immortal spirit, the whole was a dream of 

 priestcraft an absurdity, a contradiction in terms. I believed that 

 death was annihilation that when dust was mingled with dust, and 

 ashes with ashes, the whole fabric was dissolved ; that life was but 

 the play of a series of chemical and mechanical contrivances, 

 resulting from mere organization, having its origin in certain powers 

 of generation and growth possessed by man in common with the 

 beasts around ; that his imagined excellency and superiority in the 

 scale of creation that his assumption of priority and dominion, were 

 partly the result of ignorance, partly of his superior capabilities. 

 These were my convictions ; and the stern philosophy I founded upon 

 them, made me laugh with scorn at the chimerical notions, the pain- 

 ful ordinances, the miserable hypocrisy, which I saw men exercising 

 around me, for the fantastic hope of saving a nonentity. Bitter were 

 my sarcasms when I occasionally mingled with my fellows ; and 

 these before long led to my expulsion. Caring as I did but little for 

 the place from which I had been thus ignominiously expelled, it was 

 a severe blow to a proud and sensitive mind and increased a hundred- 

 fold a misanthropy which was gradually burying all the better and 

 purer parts of my nature. Thrown again amongst mankind, I found 

 none fit for my companionship ; I mingled, it is true, with the great 

 world, but what was it ? a scene of inane and most trifling folly, so 

 utterly ridiculous that I scorned to be a sharer in it. 1 watched it 

 indeed with the same emotions as the Fantoccini watches the motions 

 of his puppets, and their effects upon the children that crowd about 

 him ; and I prided myself on the superior intelligence which raised 

 me above such frivolous pursuits and enjoyments. And why did I 

 this? was I happier than those whom I thus despised? did.I fulfil 

 my duties to society better ? was I a wiser man ? No ; I was 

 miserable for 1 was quite alone. I benefited nobody, save in the 

 satisfying of my natural appetites. I was useless as a man and as a 

 citizen. Vain philosophy ! what art thou but a second Prometheus ? 

 thy own misproud spirit being the eagle for ever preying on thy 

 vitals ! The consequences of my materialism had soon an oppor- 

 tunity for their developement. My indifference and carelessness as 

 to money, joined to my long seclusion, had led me to intrust the 

 management of my affairs to an agent a man who had formerly 

 shared my friendship, whom I had raised from a state of destitution 

 and extreme poverty to comparative wealth. Prompted no doubt by 

 a hope that my inattention had unfitted me for dealing upon equal 

 terms with him, the thrice-dyed villain, by a series of forgeries and 

 spurious documents, and by the concealment and destruction of 

 valuable papers, for all were in his possession succeeded for a time 

 M.M. No. 5. 3 P 



