PORTRAIT-GALLERY OF OLD BACHELORS. 355 



antiquated charms, till they think themselves young again, and look 

 upon him as a perfect Adonis. Has one of them a sick monkey, he 

 is at once consulted, and becomes the depositary of all its symptoms 

 and amiable peculiarities. Has another a fancy for a parrot, or a 

 piping bullfinch, he scours the neighbourhood, opens a correspond- 

 ence with dealers in such articles, and, having succeeded in pro- 

 curing the desired object, presents it to the fair one, with a copy of 

 complimentary verses, comparing her voice to the tunefulness of the 

 one, and her complexion to the brilliancy of the other. Has a third 

 lost her tabby, he is ready with proper consolation to ease the breast 

 of the sorrowing virgin ; and no rest is given the feline race till 

 another, as like the former as two beans, is purring on her lap, 

 beneath the white hand of the smirking bachelor. 



At the breaking up of a quiet card-party, who but Mr. Tickler is 

 permitted to cover their wintry bosoms with shawl or cloak, to tie 

 the string round their ancient persons, or apply the pin beneath their 

 smooth chins ? who but he is seen guiding their footsteps through 

 the darksome night, whispering gentle things in their not unwilling 

 ears, and being finally dismissed with a sisterly kiss, and " fie, Sir ?" 



To younger maidens the amorous old bachelor is equally va- 

 luable : his arm is readily accepted, his escort gladly received to 

 balls, theatres, and sights. If a little female party is arranged for a 

 rural excursion, who but he is the invited companion, when younger 

 men are looked upon as dangerous by parents or guardians ? He, 

 happy man, is permitted to assist over stiles, hedge-rows, or brooks; 

 his handkerchief is spread for the belle of the hour to seat herself on 

 the grassy bank ; he throws himself at her feet, and listens to her 

 pretty prattle about trees and fields and birds, till the gentle crea- 

 ture's heart is softened by the sights and sounds around her, and then 

 she talks of love, " ye gods, how she does talk!" while the en- 

 raptured bachelor, overpowered by sweet sensations, " gives sigh for 

 sigh, and tear for tear lets fall;" till he fancies himself the Colin, 

 and she the Amanda of some well-remembered pastoral, which he 

 does not fail to recite with due emphasis and tenderness, happy 

 man ! 



Is a book, or a drawing, or a pattern, or an earring, or a bracelet, 

 or a shoe-tie, or a thimble, or a bodkin, wanted by a blooming 

 damsel, the officious gentleman is never easy till he carries it in 

 triumph to the smiling syren, and is rewarded with a look " a tell- 

 tale look;" or perhaps she whispers him "you are the best 

 creature alive. Ah, Mr. Tickler ! what a pity you are an old 

 bachelor!" And the gallant veteran, if time and opportunity are 

 fitting, sometimes in these melting moments succeeds in ravishing a 

 kiss, the perfume of which he swears shall live on his lips for ever 

 happy bachelor ! 



Does he find some pensive Juliet wrapped in maiden meditation, 

 negligently reclined on her ottoman, watching the sun-set hour, with 

 eyes full of " dewy light," and a heart softened by thoughts of 

 young love ; with the privilege of his character, he sits beside her, and, 

 being himself filled with wandering hopes and wishes, talks to her in 

 language so consonant to her own feelings, that she sighs, and lets 



