372 OLD MAIDS. 



The author's classification of Old Maids is excellently conceived, 

 and introduced by some humorous but graphic pages, full of spark- 

 ling wit and correct observation. What can be better described than 

 the general treatment received by the venerable sisterhood ? After 

 an animated account of what an Old Maid really is, he proceeds : 



" Acknowledge, reader, that thou hast done her great injustice, that 

 thou hast viewed her as a selfish, envious, ill-natured, affected, credulous, 

 and curious creature; a fit object for mirth, a standing family jest, suited 

 only to play a conspicuous part at funerals and births, and having none 

 of the fine sympathies which thou supposest to be locked in thine own 

 breast. Acknowledge that thou hast considered a relation, if an old 

 maid and poor, as suited to a by-corner in thy domicile, there condemned 

 to spend her time in darning old clothes, and knitting stockings or 'com- 

 fortables/ as the * ame damnee' of thy family, a licensed plaything for 

 thy children, and nurse-general for thyself, thy wife, and thy offspring. 

 That if rich, thou hast invited her to set dinners and card-parties, hast 

 permitted thy young hopefuls to visit her but rarely, and then with an 

 especial injunction to avoid treading on the cat's tail, choking her parrot 

 with apricot-stones, or lengthening the tail of her pet poodle, by ap- 

 pending thereto an addition in the shape of an old can or kettle to shun 

 her china cabinet to meddle not with the 'little monsters' on her 

 mantel-piece to wipe their shoes twice before entering her drawing-room 

 to keep their plates well under their chins when seated at table, lest 

 gravy or plum should escape upon her 'snow-white napery ; ' and threaten- 

 ing death and destruction to Tom and Mary if they amuse themselves 

 with pulling faces and ' doing the pretty/ to imitate their aunt's pecu- 

 liarities, an intimation which it is ten to one the mischievous monkeys 

 overlook/' 



We believe that the class of voluntary Old Maids includes a 

 larger portion of the sisterhood than the world is willing to believe. 

 The general opinion that all women are husband-hunters, and con- 

 tinue in a state of celibacy, simply because they can find nobody 

 who is willing to adventure marriage with them, may in the main be 

 true, but there are numberless exceptions to it. Listen to the de- 

 fender of the " order" on this subject; how touchingly and how finely 

 he lays open the deepest recesses of woman's heart ! The passage 

 breathes the impassioned spirit of some of Shelley's richest poetry. 



" There is, without doubt, implanted in the breast of all women a 

 passionate longing, an almost irrepressible desire, for the society and 

 companionship of man : it is an instinct woven into their moral and phy- 

 sical structure : it is a passion which grows with their growth, and 

 strengthens with their strength : it has mingled with their dreams, and 

 formed the subject of their mid-day reveries. 



" The bashful maiden, whose deep-fringed eyelids conceal the liquid 

 lustre of her hazel eyes, seats herself pensively away from observation, 

 perchance, in the deep recess of some Gothic window, or on some grassy 

 bank, arched overhead by the 'giants of the wood/ and there is a voice 

 and a mystery around her. This is the spirit of love, felt every where ; 

 it finds a kindred feeling in the breast of the coy maiden, and in luxurious 

 meditation she lives in the space of one brief hour, a life of love. But 

 the maiden is not alone in her solitude, her heart is filled with the image 

 of some ideal being created by her heated fancy ; it comes at her bidding, 

 shadowy and unreal, and she steeps her soul in tenderness, and with 

 enamoured accents of delight betrays how profound, how intense and 

 overpowering is the desire to love and to be loved. It requires only that 

 some congenial spirit shall approach her, and the whole torrent of her 



