476 PORTRAIT-GALLERY OF OLD BACHELORS. 



and Eve; ay ay Adam trusted his happiness to 'a woman, and 

 with what effect? why, Eve did not imitate him, but 



' Some foolish new adventure needs must prove, 

 And the first devil she saw she changed her love.' 



Sir, what can you expect from such a fountain but the waters of 

 Marah ? and yet to talk of their hearts and their understanding ! I 

 pity you." 



" You are welcome, Mr. Context: your oration has had one good 

 effect it has talked a smile on your face. Your opinions fall upon 

 me like snow-flakes, chilling for a moment, but afterwards bringing 

 out a warmer glow. You look at the sex on the dark side." 



" Dark fiddle-stick! dark side? I tell you the sex is dark all 

 over a mere heap of corruption : and that which you take for flashes 

 of sun-light and beauty, are nothing but phosphorescent gleams, 

 such as issue from a putrefying mass of dead muscles. Pah ! talk 

 not to me of woman woman who for an apple damned all mankind ! 

 woman, the cause of human frailty ! woman, the exciter of one 

 half the evils that prey upon society : talk not to me, Sir, of 



' Destructive, damnable, deceitful woman.' 



I won't endure it." 



"Patience, most worthy Cenobite! your temper for want of a female 

 corrective is most annoyingly restive : a single maid-servant in your 

 menage, in addition to Jacob and Tom, would do you a vast deal of 

 good ; for as to Old Dorcas, there 's no telling what sex she is of 

 now, having outlived her womanhood so long." 



" You, Sir, are an impertinent jackanapes. I have tried the plan 

 with my sister Mary, and she had not been here more than a couple 

 of days, when I turned her out, Sir : it cost me half the day to 

 undo her putting things straight. Sir, I admit no woman here, and 

 if my menage does not suit you, you can stay away, that's all, 

 that's all, Sir." 



" Why, really one gets little from you but hard words : here have 

 I been sitting listening to your rigmarole against the divinities for a 

 couple of hours, and you have not even had the civility to offer me a 

 glass of ale." 



" Get about your business, Sir. You know at what hours I eat 

 and drink ; and if you expect to do either with me, you must come 

 at the stated time : do you think Jacob has nothing to do but to wait 

 on you ? " 



" There's hospitality of Arabia Petraea for you ! but, for God's 

 sake, hold your hand, there 's no moving quickly in such an infernally 

 littered room : there now, luckily the Old Tiger is fettered with his 

 rheumatism, or I should have felt the weight of his crutch. I '11 

 just give him a parting speech through the key-hole, though at the 

 risk of his fracturing one of the panels yes, Love it shall be, for if 

 I am not mistaken, the old fellow has a spice of it somewhere in his 

 heart 



' Yes, love indeed is light from Heaven, 

 A spark of that immortal fire ; 



