254 SCHEME OF A LEGISLATIVE ASSEMBLY. 



ledge, these fatal properties would invariably be compensated by an 

 utter want of honesty. 



And if the rich tools, by a miraculous dipensation, should some- 

 times have it in their power to boast a few grains of sense, this dis- 

 qualifying accident would always be counterbalanced by the circum- 

 stance of their being just as dishonest as the poor ones. In either 

 case, the existence of a capacity, or of the spark of a capacity, to 

 derive measures for the public weal, would be rendered innocuous by 

 the neutralizing presence of knavery ; and without risking the fun- 

 damental principle of the senate, and swamping that body by the 

 introduction of a single patriot, the tool worthiest to be chosen might 

 be ascertained by an appeal to the dice, or to any other method by 

 which men interrogate the blind goddess and receive, or fancy they 

 receive her incontrovertible replies. Third on the list of eligible 

 persons, the discerning demon would place naval and military men. 

 Not, most assuredly, because brave admirals and victorious generals 

 are less praiseworthy or more foolish than the rest of mankind, but 

 because their profession is wild and roving ; the habits it engenders 

 are opposed to the acquisition of that knowledge which a legislator 

 ought to possess ; and their avowed sentiments are generally averse 

 to that unheroic policy, which prefers the tranquillity of peace to the 

 commotion of war, and best secures the happiness of an intelligent 

 people. Finally, it seems highly probable, nay, if we recollect the 

 object of the supposed political architect, it is morally certain, that 

 he would predestinate to the senatorial robe, so many of those unfor- 

 tunate individuals who surreptitiously steal into existence without 

 the decent aid of a marriage ceremony, as a credulous monarch con- 

 fiding in the integrity of his mistress, should be rash enough to recog- 

 nize as scions of the royal stock. The stigma that generally attaches 

 to the victim of an irregular admission into life, would not escape the 

 notice of the observant demon ; and the odium which is more parti- 

 cularly heaped on the favoured bastard of royalty, would not fail to 

 recommend him as a fit instrument to promote the well- working of 

 the system. 



But it is not to be supposed the foresight of the demon would stop 

 here. Bearing in mind the grand results which his scheme was des- 

 tined to ensure, he would positively require that each senator should, 

 as far as possible, be rendered thoroughly independent and responsible. 

 To secure this point, he would prescribe the possession of an ample 

 income, derived either from private property or from the purse of 

 the public. If the private funds should happen to be scanty, a pen- 

 sion of some four or five thousand a year would be ordered to flow out 

 of the public treasury, and follow the infant title with as much cer- 

 tainty as a refreshing stream follows the windings of a pleasant vale. 

 This beneficent provision would enable the senator (if so minded) to 

 lead a private life of vigourous debauchery, of feeble frivolity, or 

 harmless uselessness, and at the same time go far to ensure an aban- 

 donment of the irksome duties of the senatorial office, which, whether 

 they should be unscrupulously neglected, or faithfully performed, the 

 liberal policy of the demon would leave entirely to the honour and 

 conscience of the pensioner. 



