SOME GENTLEMAN'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 101 



trotting match, and stopped boozing on the road back at Hampton. 

 The old man, with the best intentions, was sharpish and severe, so 

 he told the maids to lock up and go to bed. That, you know, didn't 

 beat me ; for Susan, in such cases, always left the back area window- 

 shutters unbarred ; so, popping over the rails, and lifting the sash, in 

 I got, without making noise enough to wake a mouse. When I reach- 

 ed the top of the kitchen stairs, the parlor door stood ajar, and inside 

 there was a light ! A light in the parlor at that hour past three ! 

 Never was such a thing known ! At first I thought I should have 

 dropped, but fancying, maybe, that after all it was nothing but thieves, 

 on I went gently gently till I came to the door. There I heard 

 whispering ; so getting in as softly as I could, what should I see at 

 t'other end of the room, but father ! my father, down on his knees, 

 with his hands clasped on an open bible that lay on a chair before 

 him. I stole up unobserved, and, with tears in my eyes believe it 

 or not, just as you like placed myself in a devout attitude close 

 beside him, only a little behind, so that he couldn't see me. He 

 was praying I heard him praying to God for me, his un dutiful 

 son ! My heart seemed to bolt bang up into my mouth. ' Father,' 

 says I, ' don't : don't it's crucifying ! Marble couldn't bear this ; 

 it's all up now no more staying out till three o'clock. I can't I 

 won't I shan't dare to look you in the face again, till I get rid of 

 all these bad ways. You've been a good father to me God bless 

 you ! Threats and sermons are all very well ; but when you come to 

 this, you know its too much can't stand it can't indeed.' " 



" And what said the good old gentleman ?" 



" Don't know ; for there I left him staring with amazement. I 

 was out of the back area window, I reckon, before he came round ; 

 and from that day to this, I've never darkened his door, nor shall I 

 yet a bit I an't fit. Harry blow the horn, or tip us a chant, can't 

 you ?" 



" Oh ! yes, in course, Master Ralph; you stands a drop o' nothing 

 so often : I an't a going to blow all the breath out of my body ven< 

 there's no obstruction/' 



" Very well, then here goes at your favourite song." 



fl Ah ! you'd spoil it if you could, but it's a mercy that you can't; you 

 only knows a touch o' the vorst part of the tune, and here and there 

 a vord. You seems to think woice is every thing, but it von't do 

 more nor that, the thing's a getting so werry wulgar, that them 'ere 

 cads vot vashes this here wehicle at Dewizes, varbles it vile dewour- 

 ing their wittles. A'ter that, in course, I couldn't condescend not to 

 sing it afore a gemman, as seems to be one, sich as you've got on the 

 box, on no account agin, barring and except, mind me " 



The coachman here interrupted Black Harry with an oath, and 

 taking the long-extinguished cigar, which he fancied he had been 

 smoking, from his mouth, he ran up and down the extent of his 

 gamut, and began to sing with considerable musical taste the follow- 

 ing trash : 



" Oh ! the days are gone when squinting Chard 



The Bath mail drove, 

 And p ayed his pranks while holding hard 



Down Break Neck Grove." 

 M.M. No. 92. Y 



