168 SOME GENTLEMAN'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY, 



warmint for an inside passenger, 'specially as you're a lady, ma'am, 

 and so werry frightful. Lady. Don't talk to me, fellow : I've been 

 in danger of my life. Harry. Lord love you, ma'am, you talks of a 

 mouse poor little harmless warmint as if Lady. Such ruffianly 

 treatment I never heard of in my born days ! See that I'm set 

 down, man, at the next human habitation. Harry. Hard words, 

 ma'am, and all about a mouse ! If people tead and suppered at the 

 regular houses on the road, there wouldn't be no mice; but if 

 so be as passengers will bring baskets o' wittles into the wehicle, 

 what can they expect but warmint to nibble up the crumbs ? Lady. 

 Go along, fellow, it's not of the mouse, but a mysterious hand that 

 nearly throttled me Harry. Oh ! I doesn't doubt it, ma'am ; I heard 

 you cut short in your paragraph. My vife is often taken so ven she's 

 wery rviolent. Her breath seems stopped ; she can't so much as say 

 <( ram's horns ;" and ven she comes to, von't believe scarcely that 

 somebody ha'n't been half-strangling her. 



" That'll do, Harry, "said Ralph. The colloquy ceased ; the coach- 

 door was slammed ; Harry got up ; and as soon as he had uttered, in a 

 peculiar and significant tone, " all's right," we were again in motion. 



Ralph now began to express great contrition for having been com- 

 pelled to be so disrespectful ; but his particular friend, having seen 

 the circumstance in its right light, was already appeased, and at once 

 put an end to Ralph's meditated volley of explanations and apologies. 

 He now moved the previous question, and we resumed our debate. 

 It did not appear what harm there could be in acting as Jones had 

 acted. 



" Well, we'll waive that point, and allow me to proceed," said our 

 respectable compagnon de voyage. " At the next town Jones played 

 the same tune, but with variations. ' I've opened a small account, 

 said he to the banker there, producing the acknowledgment with 

 Messrs. So-and-so, of So-and-so ; but upon consideration they are 

 a little too far from the scene of my electioneering avocations j I'm 

 likely to get rather beyond the limits of their local circulation : 

 besides, it seems to me that I shall want more cash than I expected ; 

 therefore, what I propose doing is this : imprimis, here is a hundred 

 pound Bank of England bill, for which you'll oblige me with your 

 own fives. Item, here are two hundred pounds' worth of Messrs. 

 So-and-so's notes, for which you may as well also give me your own 

 paper. Item, here is a cheque in your favour for the four hundred 

 and fifty pounds in Messrs. So-and-so's hands, as per voucher : Item, 

 here you have my draft on Messrs, (naming the London firm and 

 shewing the counter receipt) for an odd five hundred pounds, which, 

 as you see, I paid into their house yesterday, as a reserve, if I wanted 

 it, which I find I shall. Now what you've to do is this ; first you'll 

 give me your notes for the Bank of England and country paper which 

 I've handed you that's three hundred : then as to the four hundred 

 and fifty and the five hundred, making together nine hundred and 

 fifty, I'll write on you instanter for two hundred, which you'll bring me 

 with the other three, all in your own paper, if you please, with a me- 

 morandum for the remaining seven hundred and fifty, balance stand- 

 ing to my account. With five hundred I think I may get on for the 



