SOME GENTLEMANS AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 



They might do what they pleased with my carcase he had no claim 

 to it. I entreated him to take me home and transport me, so sick 

 was I of Sardinian incarceration ! but he was obdurate. 



It would be uninteresting to state by what means I emancipated 

 myself from the clutches of my Sardinian friends : suffice it to say that 

 they were, in the upshot, as they candidly confessed in a paragraph 

 circulated by means of their Consuls, among the leading journals of 

 Europe and America, " pretty particularly" sorry that they had 

 ever meddled with me the asinine dolts ! 



To return to my position : I began to strike a balance, mentally, 

 as regarded the account between myself and Ralphs' " particular 

 friend." Thus it stood with us : He, no matter how, or under what 

 circumstances (I detest detail and am always for leaping to con- 

 clusions), had advanced Jones 600/., and perhaps expended nearly a 

 hundred more in the journey to the Italian dominions of his Sardinian 

 majesty. On the other hand, there was the round thousand, of 

 which I had been pillaged, and which thousand had been handed 

 over, by my foreign friends, to the attorney. The following, I think, 

 was therefore our position in figures : 



MYSELF, in Ace. with RALPH'S " PARTICULAR FRIEND. 

 Dr. Per contra Cr. 



To Cash advanced to Jones 600 By Cash received of the 



Expenses and Interest 100 Sardinian Nincompoops 1000 



Balance in my favour 300 



1000 1000 



At this statement, I flatter myself, no mercantile man could cavil. 

 There was a clear balance in my favour of 300/., and I resolved on 

 getting it, as in duty bound (for charity begins at home), by hook or 

 by crook; It was, I felt, perfectly useless to make a straight-forward 

 business-like demand. The account could evidently be closed only 

 by some diplomatic proceeding on my part some little ruse de guerre, 

 at the success of which he would, of course, be glad, so highly re- 

 spectable as he seemed ; for it would relieve a heavy load from his 

 conscience. His position was this : Having stigmatized Jones as a 

 swindler, and virtually acknowledged that the 1000/. taken from the 

 latter might be considered as some of the fruits of that gentleman's 

 monetary speculations, he, in pocketing the balance was, pro tanto, 

 a receiver of stolen goods. He must have felt that, in his profit-and- 

 loss books, he ought to stand thus : " By profit on a swindling 

 transaction, 30001." What a situation was this for a British country 

 banker ! How he must have passed his nights ! A mode occurred 

 to me by which he might be relieved, and I need scarcely say that I 

 determind to adopt it. 



While I was brooding upon the details of my scheme, Black Harry 

 again clambered over the roof of the coach, to tell Ralph he wished 

 " to drive a trifle 'cause he liked to keep his hand in, and had 

 summut to say, quite private, to the gemman en the box. Arter yov'e 

 got down this here hill, Ralph, why then, if it suits you to see to 



the blunderbuss and bags, vy Ax pardon, sir/' added he to me, 



" but I'm a sitting on your skirt, and there's summut in the pocket 

 vot isn't werv soft." 



