CONFESSIONS OF A TOAD-EATE.R. 299 



(0 go. I attempted a book, but I could not read ; I saw nothing in 

 its pages, but hospital bible society trust purpose, &c. &c. I 

 quite recoiled at the air of gloom and desertion around me. Hurry- 

 ing towards the more crowded parts of town, I called to memory my 

 friend Catchflat, in the Borough, and determined to give him a call. 

 After expressing some surprise at seeing me, 



" Well/' said he, " your old friend has gone at last, and made a 

 strange sort of a will, I hear ; hang it I thought you were all right 

 there ; did you overcharge him in some grocery, or did you neglect 

 his fleecy hosiery by the 9th of November?" and the savage laughed. 

 I begged him not to treat the subject with so much levity, as I was 

 really much hurt. /'Hurt! ah, so you may be, after dancing after 

 him so many years, to get nothing." 



" Dpn't talk so; it was friendship induced me to the sacrifices I 

 made ; and he has left me 50/." 



" What ! has he left y ou. fifty ! Come, come, you're better off than 

 I expected." From others I received similar inquiries, condolence, 

 arid sneers, until I was almost tired of my life. 



In a short time, Mr. M. called on me, to know what necessary 

 disbursements I had made on account of my deceased friend. In 'a 

 week I received that amount, without comment or legacy ; .1 made 

 up my mind to wait the twelve months without any application, and 

 then, if an occasion offered, to shew my feelings to them pretty plainly. 

 I accordingly waited with calmness until that time had expired, when, 

 having heard that JVIr. M. bad paid the legacies, I called upon him. 

 He seemed greatly surprised that I had not received mine, and told 

 me that the executors had taken the papers out of his hands some 

 time ago. Upon this I wrote to them, stating that I requested im- 

 mediate payment. 



Jn a short time I received a letter, informing me that the papers 

 and affairs were in the hands of Mr. Graball, Gray's Inn Builnings, 

 and, on application to him, any legal claim I might have would be 

 promptly attended to. I went to Mr. G.'s chambers with the feelings of 

 a dog, who snaps the bone and worries the giver. He received me with 

 much politeness, requested me to be seated, and informed me he had 

 received a letter from the executors upon my business, and then 

 went on to tell me that he had been on terms of intimacy with them 

 for a number of years, and that more high-minded and honourable men 

 did not exist, and that it was inconceivable the immense number of 

 trusts they were concerned for, and the very great satisfaction they 

 had always given to every party with whom they had transactions. 

 Untying, unfolding, and mumbling over the will, he said, with a 

 smile, 



" Your deceased friend speaks of you, in very high terms, very 

 high terms indeed, sir. I hear you was somewhat disappointed at the 

 contents of this will ; and that you expected the bulk of the property 

 would have been bequeathed to yourself. Singular !" he continued, 

 without noticing the rage which devoured me. " Strange, indeed ! 

 Your friend merely devises you the fifty pound note, No. 5422. Ah! 

 Ah! now the executors say, that no such note ever came into their 

 possession." 



