694 GRESHAM GRASSHOPPER. 



Although Yew-tree Lodge was situated within two miles of 

 London-bridge, our night could never be argued out of the persua- 

 sion that he lived in the country. And why should any one have 

 attempted to banish the illusion ? As he was pleased with the idea, 

 why not let him enjoy his harmless fancy in peace and quietness ? 

 But in every neighbourhood there are occupationless spirits to be 

 met with, who must needs intermeddle with what in no way concerns 

 them, and lavish on an unfortunate neighbour such a share of atten- 

 tion as the forest-fly bestows on the generous steed. One or two of 

 this class were domiciled near Yew-tree Lodge ; and, while engaged 

 in commercial pursuits, were the knights most intimate friends. In 

 fact, his country-house had been selected on account of its proximity 

 to these very friends. And sorely did he now repent it. They 

 joked the good man about his " dog and duck ;" and he understood, 

 not joking ; they plagued him with ill-timed complaints ; and, quiz- 

 zing some of his intimates, would often fairly exhaust the small por- 

 tion of forbearance wherewith he was gifted. A long career of pros- 

 perity magnifies the most trivial thwartings into unparalleled disap- 

 pointments. Sir Crab, however, though often urged to a display of 

 ungentle and un courtly bearing, was so enamoured of the charms of 

 divine poesy, that the muses frequently interposed a shield between 

 his anger and its object. In short, though abominating authors, and 

 all that class, he was an inveterate quoter. 



Our retired merchant was blest with a wife, a son, and a 

 daughter, in addition to his " plum." The lady-mother, once her 

 lord and master's housemaid, was ' fat, fair,' and something more 

 than ' forty ;' and, to use Sir Crab's quotation, when once ruminating 

 on the charms of his better half, she was 



" A ton of flesh, with gold hoops bound, 

 Just four feet high, and six feet round." 



His son was a sickly youth, called Sensitive, much given to 

 the muse, consequently considered by the father a lost young man ; 

 but his daughter was the hope of the family ; the worthy citizen had 

 negotiated a marriage for her that would set all Wai worth in an 

 uproar, and Newington Butts to boot. Here, then, is the family 

 party assembled Sir Crab, her Ladyship, and the two juniors. 



But we will quit our friend Numberwell awhile, in favour of his 

 daughter, the bright-eyed Fanny ; wherefore it behoves us to lay 

 before the inquiring reader a sketch of the bridegroom. 



" Only conceive, now, what may be realized from a trifle by fru- 

 gality and perseverance ! When I set out in life 'tis fifty years 

 ago my whole fortune did riot exceed two hundred pounds, a single 

 suit of clothes, and sundry old hats and aged pairs of stockings. 

 Add an to the 200/. ! even so, 2000/. Bless me ! Well, that's 

 something. Two thousand pounds, snugly deposited in this house ; 

 twenty thousand in the firm of Sterling and Co. ; and eighty thou- 

 sand secured on certain entailed estates thanks to extravagance ! 

 all safe safe as the Bank of England. Well, that makes altogether 

 100,000/., with an odd two thousand over the result of my own per- 

 severing industry, and the fictitious wants of others. Yes, yes, my 



