FRAGMENT OF A FARCE. 55? 



and two Caledonian mates, by the lord, who smelt awfully af brim- 

 stone three weeks of it, by the gods ! three whole weeks, sir ! I 

 was never so sick of any thing in my life, and when the red walls of 

 Flushing hove in sight, I could have cut an entrechat upon the deck, 



Chip. You recollect the pilot, Gussy? That peculiar old cock, 

 you know, with aforecastle stoop, and nose like the lantern of a light- 

 house. 



Mount. Ah ! that nose ! Methinks I see it now vast and fiery . 

 pimpled and portentous denoting " health five fathoms deep," and 

 flaming like another vEtna ! 'Tis an era in a man's life, sir, to have 

 seen that nose. Poor old Nosey ! I wonder what has become of 

 him? But Chipchow, my boy, you look in capital case. You must 

 have turned Algiers and Navar ino to good account. 



Chip. You are right, old fellow ; they have stood my friend every 

 where but at the Admiralty. I was three whole months in Norfolk, 

 where I fired so many broadsides that my ammunition ran short. 

 The people there can tell you as much about a Turk as if they be- 

 longed to the Seraglio, though many believe new they have tails and 

 live upon brimstone. 



AIL Ha! ha! ha! 



Enter the Scotch Landlady. 



Landlady (curtsying). Gentlemen, ye seem unco merry. Ise just 

 taken the leeberty to bring the captain his sma' account, just to let 

 ye see, as friends, that he's no' charged muckle for his apartments. 



Mount, (reddening.) Confound you for a grasping old catamaran ! 

 how dare you intrude upon gentlemen in this manner. Bring your 

 account in the morning I've no silver. 



Landl. Noo, captain, I do not reckon ye ever had. Ise never seen 

 the colour of it ; but maybe your friends can just, accommodate ye 

 with the trifle. 



All. Ha! ha! ha! 



Chip. Certainly certainly. Stanley, lend our friend the trifle. 



Stan. By all means; though I don't happen to have so much about 

 me ; but Maginnis 



Mag. Oh, with pleasure, if you'll just allow me to step home I'll 

 fetch it instantly ; though the Doctor perhaps 



Doctor. By Jasus, my friend, to any amount you please; the sum 

 is nothing out of my pocket 



Mag. (aside.) Though a devilish deal in it. 



Doctor. Though I forgot I paid a little bill as I came in ; perhaps 

 Mistress Mucklethrift, to-morrow . 



Landl. Why, ye good-for-nothing parcel of hungry deevils ; d'ye 

 reckon to run your rigs on me, Ise 



All. Confusion ! this to gentlemen ! 



Mount. Out of the room, you d d old cat, or by force I'll pitch 

 you through the window ! 



Landl. Hout, mon ! is that the way ye pay your debts, ye bootless, 

 brogueless, beggarly half-pays, get out o' my house. 



All. Pitch her out tie her to a broomstick, the old witch ! 



Landl. Say your say ; Ise no fear ye or the likes o' ye, though I 

 shoudna like to be a silver spoon in your way 



