SUttTKRRANKAN RECERSBS. !{$ 



" Brother, you are right ; I have often remiuded you of this. Our 

 business as professed philosoplicrs is calmly to advance naked truth, 

 sending it forth to the world in the utmost simplicity of style ; and 

 then witliout wasting our time in watching too solicitously the result. 

 to set about the discovery of further truth to be given to the world 

 in a similar way. I wish to do all the good which is by any means 

 possible ; and when one thing has received the benefit of my utmost 

 efforts, I must instantly withdraw myself from it, and direct my 

 attention elsewhere. " 



" Would you favour me with a page or two of your powerful com- 

 position, by way of preface to my volume ?" 



The hoary-headed sage sat down, and submitted to me the follow- 

 ing preface ; much of its strength, however, has been lost in the 

 hands of the translator. 



" Reader ! — did you ever read a book recommending you to com- 

 mit suicide ? What opinion would you form of the author of the 

 following pages were you to find them filled with serious arguments 

 urging the commission of this act ? I care not a straw what you 

 think of uie ; my intention is forthwith to furnish you with explana- 

 tions and points of the most approved methods of committing suicide, 

 not merely in the usual mode, but in company. Addressing you as 

 a member of polished society, my advice is — Quarrel; whatever you 

 do quarrel. But I ought to point out the class of persons to be 

 quaiTelled with. Now, I strongly advise you to select fools— young 

 fools, if you can fall in with them. Old fools are generally obtuse ; 

 but young fools would be satisfactorily quick of apprehension. To 

 a man of strong mind, the intervening hours between the aiTanging 

 of a combat and the ac'ual encounter are maddening. But the fools 

 are spell-bound ; each believes retreat impossible — each believes it 

 incumbent upon him to maintain the farce with indifference. Poor* 

 shaJlowt-patod mortals ! What loss will it be to the world if they 

 sliould Ijappen to kill each other ? Who will retrench the slightest 

 portion of a single meal through sorrow ? Who will sleep half a 

 minuta less ? The offices of hoiK>ur or emolument filled by theip 

 will be greedily snatched up by men whose common sense will 

 probably intimate to them the folly of quitting the world thirty or 



p 



