38 Monsieur St. Croix ; [JAN. 



born in the first two years of their marriage, but since that time no 

 prospect of a family had ever existed. 



Alphonse, the first-born, was destined for a military life, war being 

 considered the only admissible profession for the eldest son of a count 

 <7 /></<. I who, unluckily for myself, came into the world a year later, 

 was, even before my birth, condemned to the church. In fact there 

 was nothing else for me. The chief part of my father's income was 

 derived from places under government, and that died with him ; his 

 estates were inextricably involved by the dissipations of his youth and 

 the vanity of his old age ; and at his death, it would be incumbent on 

 my brother to support the family dignity. For the young count to do 

 this upon nothing was as much as could reasonably be expected ; and 

 my father prudently resolved to make the church provide for the rest 

 of his progeny. He had more than one rich benefice in his eye, which 

 he felt certain he had interest to procure ; and I was scarcely released 

 from swaddling clothes before I went by the name of the little Abbe. 

 To all appearance at the time, this decision gave me many advantages, 

 for whilst my brother was left for many years entirely to the care of 

 servants, and at length transferred to that of an ignorant tutor, who 

 took care that he should learn little, but how to ride, dance, dress, and 

 intrigue, I was duly instructed, by a learned churchman, in Greek, 

 Latin, and theological science ; but at the time I loathed such learning, 

 and it has since proved but useless furniture to an overburthened brain. 



There never existed any affection between my brother and myself, 

 and as we grew older, the coldness of our childhood deepened into actual 

 hate. The study of divinity had not tamed my spirit ; I was young, 

 ardent, and full of hope, and the little I had seen and heard of the 

 world made me think it Elysium ; perhaps the consciousness that I was 

 condemned to forswear it lent it redoubled lustre. I regarded Alphonse 

 as the being who doomed me to be for ever debarred from its pleasures ; 

 was it wonderful then that I detested him? whilst the handsome person 

 which I inherited from my mother, made me the object of his envy and 

 malevolence. 



Time wore away ; but though I assumed the dress of the priesthood, 

 and was subjected to all the discipline of the cloister, .my heart was not 

 in the calling. I incurred penances more than a dozen times a month, 

 for irreverence of manner, and absence without leave ; I was condemned 

 to fast on bread and water for thirty days, oirconviction of the heinous 

 offence of having written a love-lelter on the altar, and then thrown it, 

 wrapped round a sous-piece, over a wall to a young lady in a garden 

 adjoining the seminary ; but all this severity did but drive the flame 

 inwards, to corrode my heart, and burst forth at a future period with 

 renewed fury ; it could not still the imagination, which flew for ever 

 from the page of learning, and the empty ceremonies of religion, to 

 luxuriate in a forbidden world. I was one with whom kindness might 

 have (lone much, though tyranny nothing. But the reign of my oppres- 

 sors was drawing fast to a close. It was a time when a spirit of libera- 

 lity and inquiry on every subject was spreading widely abroad, and the 

 old, alraid of the insubordination of the young, took the very way to 

 drive them to rebellion. Opinions were no longer received upon trust 

 even in cloistered walls ; many like myself detested the whole system 

 of hypocrisy, sloth, and superstition of which we were made abettors ; 

 and my feelings had numerous participators amongst my young com- 



